2 AM wake up call from my Soul
The relief was palpable.
Let me tell you a little story from this week that taught me the immeasurable value of emotional relief.
It starts in the middle of the night, because of course it does. That’s when the soul likes to slip in without my opinion(ego) getting in the way.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know there’s a man in my life. Someone who intrigues me. And the feeling, it seems, is mutual. For some time now, I’ve been wrestling with what to do about it. Let the friendship be? Or find out if he wants more?
We’ve been circling each other for well over a year. Not dating. Not romantically entangled. Just two people orbiting in that strange place where interest is present, but nobody names it.
One minute it feels like companionship. The next minute, tension. Then friendliness. Then silence.
Back and forth. Push and pull. A very human dance.
And I’ll tell you the truth: it has tied up far too much space in my mind.
I would send a message and then catch myself wondering what he would think or how he might interpret it. I would read his tone too closely. I would feel myself writing around him, instead of simply being myself.
It was subtle, but it was real.
Then, at two in the morning, I woke up as if someone had placed a little silver bell right beside my ear.
One clean thought dropped in. Not emotional. Not dramatic. Just the truth.
It was my soul handing me the information I’d been trying to figure out for months.
She said, very simply, what his interest actually meant.
Not romance. Not longing. Not a possibility.
And the moment I heard that, the whole pattern dissolved.
I felt relief sweep through me like warm water.
I no longer cared how he might interpret a message. I no longer felt the need to tiptoe or guess. I no longer carried that tiny weight on my chest.
I just felt free.
And here’s the part I want you to really hear:
That one moment of relief changed my entire vibration.
I felt lighter. Clearer. More myself. I felt like a woman back in her own skin.
The same thing happened when I realized I no longer exercise to shrink my body or impress a man. I move because I want to stay mobile. I want to walk with strength. I want my legs to carry me into the life I’m creating.
That old belief fell away, and the relief from that was just as sweet.
So here’s what I’m learning:
Relief is not small. Relief is not passive. Relief is a spiritual event.
It’s the moment you stop wrestling with an old belief that never truly belonged to you. It’s the moment the soul steps in and says, Honey, let me take that off your shoulders.
And when that weight drops—even if it’s only one belief—the whole world feels wider.
So let me leave you with a gentle question today:
What belief are you still carrying that your soul has been trying to lift away from you?
You’ll know exactly which one it is by the lightness you feel when it finally loosens its grip.
With love,
Monica
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I felt relief just reading this because it mirrors the very same situation and conclusion I have come to. When you questioned and explored your relationship with your friend a week or two ago, I began to wonder if you were going to be giving in to something that didn’t fit you perfectly. In my case, I have landed in the same place you have. It would have been a huge compromise of my own values to have become anything more than good friends. It was a “whew” moment when I settled that within myself once and for all.
I never thought of it that way, thank you for that insight.
In the last several days I’ve been reminded that when my soul (or spirits my soul is connected to), want my attention, the top of my head tingles intensely and I have to scratch it.
Now that I remember, it is a clear message to do it, take the risk, say yes, I’m heading in the right direction.
All of this is coming since ‘Splattergate’, when I stood up for myself and recognized that just because someone said I did something wrong, or that I’m a horrible human, I am not. I’m a flawed human being, but I am not ‘bad’.
So now I pay attention to the tingles and move.
I will get better at it and practice more breathing and listening.
Thank you!