Are You Living or Just Enduring? (There's a Difference)
That dull hum that says: just get through the day. Check your body right now—are your shoulders tight? Jaw clenched? You're not broken. You're braced. And bracing can be unwound.
You Don’t Have to Live in Survival Mode
I didn’t know I’d slipped back into survival mode until I felt it.
That flatness in my chest. That dull hum that says: just get through the day.
Not sadness. Not fear. Just... grey.
And I thought: Oh shit. I’m back in it.
Here’s the Thing About Survival Mode
It doesn’t announce itself.
You don’t wake up one morning and think, “Ah yes, today I shall enter survival mode.”
It’s sneakier than that.
You’re still functioning. Still paying bills. Still showing up. Still getting shit done.
You look fine.
But inside? You’re braced.
Shoulders tight. Jaw clenched. Thoughts short and sharp.
Joy? Postponed until further notice.
You’re not living. You’re enduring.
And if you’ve been doing it long enough, you might not even notice the difference anymore.
I Noticed Because Something Changed
Six months ago, I started doing something stupid simple.
Breathing. On purpose.
Four seconds in. Hold for four. Exhale for six.
I set a reminder on my phone. Every hour. Because I kept forgetting.
At first, I did it once or twice a day. Then multiple times. Now I do it for 3-5 minutes, several times a day.
And here’s what happened:
My body stopped treating every day like an emergency.
“I’ve been doing this 4-4-6 breath practice for six months now. Sometimes multiple times a day. I even set it on my phone every hour to remind me. Because it’s that much of a life changer for me. It moved me out of survival mentality.”
What Actually Happens When You Stop Bracing
I started wanting things again.
Painting. Baking bread. Sitting in the sun like a lizard.
None of that was possible when I was braced.
Because bracing doesn’t leave room for wanting. It only leaves room for handling.
Regulation gave me my wants back.
How You Know You’re Stuck in Survival
Check your body right now.
Are your shoulders up near your ears? Is your jaw tight? Are you holding your breath?
That’s bracing.
And if you’re braced, you’re in survival mode.
Even if nothing’s actually wrong. Even if you’re “fine.”
Your body doesn’t know the difference between a real threat and the low-grade panic of too much to do and not enough time.
So it braces. All day. Every day.
And you wonder why you’re so goddamn tired.
The Pivot Is Simpler Than You Think
You don’t need a retreat. You don’t need therapy. You don’t need to quit your job and move to Bali.
You need to regulate your nervous system.
Four seconds in. Four seconds hold. Six seconds out.
Just breathing like you mean it.
Because when your body feels safe, everything else becomes possible.
You’re Not Broken. You’re Braced.
And bracing can be unwound.
One breath at a time. One soft moment at a time.
Not dramatically. Physiologically.
Because this isn’t a mindset problem. It’s a nervous system state.
And you can shift it.
Right now. Today. This hour.
Set a reminder on your phone.
Four seconds in. Four seconds hold. Six seconds out.
Do it every hour for a week. See what happens.
The Second Half of Life Isn’t About Surviving Better
It’s about finally—finally—living without armor.
At 60. At 70. At whatever age you are when you say:
I’m done bracing. I’m ready to live.
You don’t have to wait for circumstances to change.
You just have to breathe like your life depends on it.
Because it does.
If you just checked your shoulders and realized they’re up near your ears—if you recognized that flatness, that bracing, that grey hum of just getting through—you’re ready for what we do here.
Welcome to the Monirose Soul Circle.
This is where women who are done enduring and ready to live gather every week.
Not to perform wellness. Not to pretend we’ve got it all figured out.
But to actually do the work of unwinding the brace. Of regulating our nervous systems. Of coming back to life.
Right now through February 23rd, I’m offering 20% off annual subscriptions.
When you join the Soul Circle, you get:
BREAKTHROUGH Guide (immediate access) - the work that helps you clear the clutter so you can hear what you actually want
The Coherence Guide (immediate access) - daily practices to align head, heart, and gut
Daily essays like this one—raw, honest, lived
Weekly live workshops every Tuesday at 7 PM EST where we do the actual work
A community of women who’ve chosen to overcome and thrive—not just survive
20% off through February 23rd.
This isn’t about adding more to your life.
It’s about finally letting your body rest enough to remember what aliveness feels like.
It’s about moving from bracing to breathing.
From enduring to living.
The Monirose Soul Circle is where that happens.