I never felt like I fit in anywhere. No lasting friendships. I went to Penland. Close but too short time. I finally said I was done at 40.
I was married to a man who I had loved who had been my friend. I thought. I was never really allowed to be a part of the family, even though I cared for his bedridden mother for years. I found I was a front to distract from the women he really loved. Oh and the drugs.
I left and got an art degree. I met good friends who are still there for me. I moved to a small town years later. I do retail work as a form of structure. I have more friends than I ever had in youth. People who show up when I need them. People who I show up for.
I admire people who can dig deep to reflect on their authentic realizations. Beautifully written. I achieved my childhood dream at 63 when a publisher gave me a contract to publish my novel. I was an author!
This really spoke to me. I was obsessed for many years by the dream of living in Cornwall and living an artistic life. I can see it so clearly, that big Georgian house in Penzance with me curled into a reading nook on the landing, looking out through a big window at the sea and the sky. It was so much more romantic thinking about being an artist than getting my sketch book out and putting in that 15 minutes practice every day. And if I'd gone for it, I'd spend most of my painting time on the logistics of relocation anyway.
Life long dreams. The shape they took. What’s underneath? What’s the feeling? This clarifies the true DESIRE; the emotional, financial, intellectual or relational need.
I love this! My daughter worked for and then owned her own art store. About 200 artists sell their art there. She’s had it going for over 18 years. But it is struggling right now. She is on the threshold of something new. It’s coming out of the art store—almost a birthing. But she is struggling. She’s in her 40s —another age of discovery, redirection, and innovation. I hope she can glean from your wisdom and your story.
You Nailed it. Mine? Recording a visualization for Insight Timer (Finding Your Perfect Summer Cabin), getting into size 10s, publishing anything… huge efforts all. Focus. Intention. Restricting all else. Hunger for Permission. Praise. Support. Guidance paid and sought out free. All well worth it.
Oh Monica! I have experienced much of this the past few years. Fulfilling a dream from long ago, or even not so long ago, only to realize I am not the same woman who dreamed up that dream. At first it was very off-putting. Hey, what's going on here? Lots of confusion around attaining long unrequited, much wanted items, situations, lifestyle, love, only to be shocked they weren't what I wanted at all. Anymore. The past 18 months or so since I have been on my own have consisted of a lot of 'What do I really want now?' And Now is a much different land everyday. So lots of just for today, and just this once sort of plans. Such a gift to see all the gifts at last, xx😘
That just gave me about 29 rabbit holes to explore! 😂
Honestly though, that's such an eye-opener for me. It isn't whatever it was that I wanted at 25... it was a feeling. I still find myself searching for a feeling, that I think I want.
You made a good point about being specific in your desires. Sometimes mine come to me in a jack-in-the-box filled with confetti! When I'm finished cleaning up the mess, I forgot what I was doing there!
So now I can spend the next 532,104,617 minutes exploring rabbit holes! 🤣😂🤣
I never felt like I fit in anywhere. No lasting friendships. I went to Penland. Close but too short time. I finally said I was done at 40.
I was married to a man who I had loved who had been my friend. I thought. I was never really allowed to be a part of the family, even though I cared for his bedridden mother for years. I found I was a front to distract from the women he really loved. Oh and the drugs.
I left and got an art degree. I met good friends who are still there for me. I moved to a small town years later. I do retail work as a form of structure. I have more friends than I ever had in youth. People who show up when I need them. People who I show up for.
I admire people who can dig deep to reflect on their authentic realizations. Beautifully written. I achieved my childhood dream at 63 when a publisher gave me a contract to publish my novel. I was an author!
This really spoke to me. I was obsessed for many years by the dream of living in Cornwall and living an artistic life. I can see it so clearly, that big Georgian house in Penzance with me curled into a reading nook on the landing, looking out through a big window at the sea and the sky. It was so much more romantic thinking about being an artist than getting my sketch book out and putting in that 15 minutes practice every day. And if I'd gone for it, I'd spend most of my painting time on the logistics of relocation anyway.
You are very wise and took the words right out of my mouth, but defined it better than I could. Hugs.
Isn’t it great to discover and even realize dreams as we age? Thanks for sharing this story. I’m working on my next dream.😊
Hearts ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Well put!
Life long dreams. The shape they took. What’s underneath? What’s the feeling? This clarifies the true DESIRE; the emotional, financial, intellectual or relational need.
Thank you, Monica. I am 69 for another month. This gives me lots to think about.
I love this! My daughter worked for and then owned her own art store. About 200 artists sell their art there. She’s had it going for over 18 years. But it is struggling right now. She is on the threshold of something new. It’s coming out of the art store—almost a birthing. But she is struggling. She’s in her 40s —another age of discovery, redirection, and innovation. I hope she can glean from your wisdom and your story.
You Nailed it. Mine? Recording a visualization for Insight Timer (Finding Your Perfect Summer Cabin), getting into size 10s, publishing anything… huge efforts all. Focus. Intention. Restricting all else. Hunger for Permission. Praise. Support. Guidance paid and sought out free. All well worth it.
Oh Monica! I have experienced much of this the past few years. Fulfilling a dream from long ago, or even not so long ago, only to realize I am not the same woman who dreamed up that dream. At first it was very off-putting. Hey, what's going on here? Lots of confusion around attaining long unrequited, much wanted items, situations, lifestyle, love, only to be shocked they weren't what I wanted at all. Anymore. The past 18 months or so since I have been on my own have consisted of a lot of 'What do I really want now?' And Now is a much different land everyday. So lots of just for today, and just this once sort of plans. Such a gift to see all the gifts at last, xx😘
Excellent. I always admire how you write such thought-provoking articles.
That just gave me about 29 rabbit holes to explore! 😂
Honestly though, that's such an eye-opener for me. It isn't whatever it was that I wanted at 25... it was a feeling. I still find myself searching for a feeling, that I think I want.
You made a good point about being specific in your desires. Sometimes mine come to me in a jack-in-the-box filled with confetti! When I'm finished cleaning up the mess, I forgot what I was doing there!
So now I can spend the next 532,104,617 minutes exploring rabbit holes! 🤣😂🤣
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