As a child, were you the rule-follower or the rebel?
Believe it or not, I played by the rules — mostly to keep my parents happy. I didn’t question them much at the time. But now, with that sharp 20/20 hindsight, I wish I’d paused to ask why those rules were there in the first place. Supposedly, they were meant to prepare me for a successful life as a wife and mother.
(Lawd, did they get that one wrong!) 😆
Those rules weren’t just suggestions.
They were expectations — hard-wired into marriage, motherhood, and even what it meant to be a “respectable woman.”
Keep a tidy house.
Hold your tongue.
Be grateful for the job.
Stay loyal — even if it costs you yourself.
And I did. For decades.
Like so many women of my generation, I wore the uniforms, filled the roles, played the parts — because that’s what “good women” did. We didn’t question the system. We just survived inside it.
Some of you may know an even stricter version of those rules — the ones reserved for women married to a man of the cloth.
Mercy.
Yes, I was married to a Christian minister for 17 years… until the misery became too much to bear.
(Someday I’ll write more about that chapter — and the reasons I left.)
That chapter closed, but I didn’t settle into one neat box after that. I couldn’t. Life kept asking new things of me. And so did I.
But recently, someone made a comment that caught me off guard.
They were trying to be polite (I think), but it still stung.
They said something like:
“You’ve worn a lot of hats in your career, haven’t you?”
It was meant as a critique. As if reinvention was something to apologize for.
The younger me might’ve flinched, wondering if I’d done something wrong.
But the older me? She knows better. That wasn’t curiosity — it was fear in disguise.
The younger me might’ve felt embarrassed.
The older me?
She sees clearly.
That comment didn’t come from curiosity — it came from fear.
Specifically, a fear of risk. Of uncertainty. Of coloring outside the lines.
But here’s the thing:
Risk never scared me.
I’ve never made a decision based on “minimizing risk.”
That’s just not how I’m wired.
I’ve always lived from the soul out.
Every major turn in my life — every change, every pivot, every new “hat” — was guided by my spiritual compass, not someone else’s blueprint.
And I know now: that’s not a flaw. That’s freedom.
The generations coming up behind us?
They’re tossing out the rulebook we bled ourselves dry trying to follow.
So maybe I wasn’t a rebel after all…Maybe I was just ahead of my time.
They don’t dream of 30 years at the same desk.
They’re not loyal to jobs that don’t feed them.
They don’t wait around for permission to do what they love.
Yes, some of it is because they have to — the economy isn’t exactly gentle.
But some of it is because they want to.
They crave authenticity over approval. They’re not afraid to start over.
And maybe they’re onto something.
Because the truth is:
A life well-lived isn’t measured by how closely you follow the rules.
It’s measured by how deeply you stayed connected to who you really are.
I’ve known financial stability. I’ve also known failure.
But the richest moments of my life have always come when I let go of the script and listened to something deeper.
So if someone says to me again,
“You’ve worn a lot of hats,”
I’ll smile and say:
“Yes. And every one of them taught me something the rulebook never could.”
And that’s the power of writing your own story — one bold page at a time.
Which is exactly what ReFoundation was built to help you do.
“If you’re ready to peel off the rules and write your own story — I’ve created some tools to help. What if discovering you is the next great adventure?
You’ve worn the uniforms.
Kept the house. Raised the kids. Paid the dues.
Played by all the rules you never got to write.
And now, here you are — not broken, not lost —
just standing at the edge of something new.
Not the travel. Not the volunteering.
Not one more way to keep yourself busy.
But the deeper ask:
Who am I now — really?
If that question stirs something in you…
If you feel the tug for more (but don’t know where to start)…
🌀 What do you really have to lose?
Not your money. Not your time.
Just the fog. The dullness. The flat-line days of “filling time” and calling it a life.
ReFoundation is where the fog lifts.
It’s where discovery begins. And with it — momentum, meaning, and a version of you that isn’t waiting around anymore. Inside you’ll find prompts and ideas for you to easily implement today.
If you’ve been asking, “What now?”
This is the answer.
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Because clarity isn’t something you find.
It’s something you create.
🌀 Paid subscribers get exclusive emails that aren’t just inspiration — they’re activation. Each one is designed to help you jettison old labels and unlock new discoveries, one soul-deep moment at a time.
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