It is as if your reflections and articles are on queue for the thoughts and feelings l am living. This really spoke to me!!! The sitting with the self and soul and feeling the space not void that can come when we are not in permanent action mission saving serving escape validation survival mode !!!
It is so freeing to let people have their process without feeling the need to run in and fix. It is so refreshing to give myself time to read not only a book but many books in the same series because they’re excellently written and pull me forward. It is freeing to remember that if I weren’t here, the world would go on and on and on. It helps me stay in the present moment and enjoy the way the sunlight reflects off the leaves of the avocado tree beside my third story window. Thank you, Monica.
I appreciate you acknowledging that this space can also be shared with grief. A question that has been troubling me...... thankfully at this point i am not hindered by health or mobility issues. What about my friends with chronic pain or other situations who may not be as physically free to pursue their long lost dreams.... does the soul nudge towards "new" dreams? Are they to just "settle " for the only things they are physically capable of, due to their limitations?
I’m really glad you brought this here. This matters.
And I want to say first, without softening it… chronic pain and physical limitation are real. They change the landscape of a life. So no, this isn’t about pretending everything is possible in the same way it once was.
But the soul… it doesn’t disappear when the body changes. It doesn’t retire. It doesn’t lower its voice and say, “Well, I guess that’s all we get now.”
What I’ve come to see is that the soul doesn’t only nudge toward what we used to dream… it nudges toward what is still alive now.
Sometimes that looks different than we expected.
Sometimes it’s smaller on the outside and deeper on the inside.
Sometimes it’s a shift from doing to expressing… from movement to meaning… from output to connection.
And sometimes, yes… there is grief. Real grief for what the body can no longer do. That grief belongs. It’s not in the way of the soul… it’s part of the conversation.
So how do we encourage them?
Not by pushing them to be who they were.
Not by handing them silver-lining slogans.
But by staying curious with them.
By asking…
“What still lights up inside you, even a little?”
“What feels meaningful now, in this body, on this day?”
Because new dreams don’t mean lesser dreams.
They mean dreams that are in relationship with reality instead of in resistance to it.
And sometimes the most powerful encouragement we can offer is this:
“I see you. Not just who you were… but who you still are. And I believe there is still something in you that wants to be lived.”
This was super helpful. I will be coming back to these thoughts often. I really appreciate your time and honesty and care in replying. Thank you very much.
It is as if your reflections and articles are on queue for the thoughts and feelings l am living. This really spoke to me!!! The sitting with the self and soul and feeling the space not void that can come when we are not in permanent action mission saving serving escape validation survival mode !!!
It is so freeing to let people have their process without feeling the need to run in and fix. It is so refreshing to give myself time to read not only a book but many books in the same series because they’re excellently written and pull me forward. It is freeing to remember that if I weren’t here, the world would go on and on and on. It helps me stay in the present moment and enjoy the way the sunlight reflects off the leaves of the avocado tree beside my third story window. Thank you, Monica.
Very good Monica! But a question came to mind...Do I need to be valuable? Valuable for what?
That’s a beautiful question.
I don’t think you need to be valuable for anything.
I think you already are.
The problem is most of us were taught our value comes from being needed, useful, or holding everything together for everyone else.
So when that slows down… it can feel like we’ve lost something.
But maybe what’s really happening is this:
You’re finally being returned to yourself.
I agree, my sense of value comes from inside and not from outside references.
I appreciate you acknowledging that this space can also be shared with grief. A question that has been troubling me...... thankfully at this point i am not hindered by health or mobility issues. What about my friends with chronic pain or other situations who may not be as physically free to pursue their long lost dreams.... does the soul nudge towards "new" dreams? Are they to just "settle " for the only things they are physically capable of, due to their limitations?
How can we encourage them?
⸻
I’m really glad you brought this here. This matters.
And I want to say first, without softening it… chronic pain and physical limitation are real. They change the landscape of a life. So no, this isn’t about pretending everything is possible in the same way it once was.
But the soul… it doesn’t disappear when the body changes. It doesn’t retire. It doesn’t lower its voice and say, “Well, I guess that’s all we get now.”
What I’ve come to see is that the soul doesn’t only nudge toward what we used to dream… it nudges toward what is still alive now.
Sometimes that looks different than we expected.
Sometimes it’s smaller on the outside and deeper on the inside.
Sometimes it’s a shift from doing to expressing… from movement to meaning… from output to connection.
And sometimes, yes… there is grief. Real grief for what the body can no longer do. That grief belongs. It’s not in the way of the soul… it’s part of the conversation.
So how do we encourage them?
Not by pushing them to be who they were.
Not by handing them silver-lining slogans.
But by staying curious with them.
By asking…
“What still lights up inside you, even a little?”
“What feels meaningful now, in this body, on this day?”
Because new dreams don’t mean lesser dreams.
They mean dreams that are in relationship with reality instead of in resistance to it.
And sometimes the most powerful encouragement we can offer is this:
“I see you. Not just who you were… but who you still are. And I believe there is still something in you that wants to be lived.”
This was super helpful. I will be coming back to these thoughts often. I really appreciate your time and honesty and care in replying. Thank you very much.
Most welcome