This may be one of the most important messages I’ve read in years, and I’m incredibly grateful and impressed that you trusted yourself — and your readers — to share this area of your life in which you were vulnerable.
Because, if we’re honest, it’s an area of life in which most of us are vulnerable, especially we "seasoned” women.
I loved this story and what YOU brought to it. I saw myself in it 😔. Ihad the same thing happen… a challenge from a man to scale my business and go global that was a kinda fun and had promise until Convid put the kybosh on travel. Ultimately I lost my business and all my retirement savings. Looking back, it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but a man equated it to my value and off I went.
This was just what I needed today. I started following some suggested sell it techniques and I freeze. That’s not my energy so my writing and my posting froze a bit too thank you for explaining what was going on.
Hi Monica. Good to have you ‘home’. Your ordeal was so familiar.
Even though we are close in age our decades make a difference. You, I assume, were born in the 50s, me in the 60s. In high school the career councillors tried steering me into social services, working with people, stuff like that. I am a total introvert!! No way would being around people, dealing with their stuff, would be good for me. I am a logical person, problem solver, technology savvy, and tinkerer. I had dreams of breaking career barriers. Stretch dream being a “Line(wo)man for the County” but ended up in the telecommunications manufacturing industry.
The funny part is I have helped and trained many factory line workers. I oversee their work and address issues and problems on the fly. I help resolve those issues and it takes a lot of personal interaction.
So what do you know? I’m a technical counselor instead of a social worker.
Life is a trip!
If your induced dream was Empire, maybe you’ll settle into a couple of monthly get together sessions that bring lots of eyes on your work. Campfires to gather. In the days between is an ice cold Coke, pillows and the gut knowledge you’ve helped so many women, and a few men, with tools to give their lives a hard honest look. And maybe shed some tears of joy and gratitude.
Between this post and the discussion we had in last week’s Breakthrough, I’m feeling unsettled and challenged - in a good way, I think. At least I hope so. This is the kind of challenge I was looking for and why I subscribed to your Substack. Thank you, Monica.
The most powerful sentence in that whole article for me is this…
“And I stay there until I feel myself.”
It 100% explains my need for slow mornings & the unexpected energy flip that all of a sudden urges me into action again. It also explains why sometimes it takes a whole day and then a slow morning to feel myself again after a particularly intense few days of busyness, pushing & over-commitment! I need a longer recovery time to feel myself again…
I’ve also been the one who takes someone else’s idea about or for me in a ball & runs with it, never stopping once to ask if I wanted it or not. I just need to get to that goalpost someone else created for me…! Self abandonment 101 - I was a Star at it 🌟
And “you’re so good at it”!!! Uuurrrgghhh 😩😖😠 don’t get me started!
I’m good at lots of things it seems, but do I want to be? Is it in alignment with the life that is right for me?
Unbelievable timing. You wrote what I am struggling with right now; holding onto routines/work that I am really ready to let go, so I don’t disappoint anyone. In actuality, no one‘s gonna be disappointed if I decide to change course. It’s all in my head. Plus I like the positive feedback I get that feeds my ego. So it’s less scary to continue what I’m doing, rather than to take a leap of faith and trust myself. What you wrote is exactly the push that I needed to make some changes in my life. One more thing, your comment about the pain in your back, going down your left arm, etc. please get checked out soon, if you have not done so already, by a cardiologist. It might be stress related, or it might be heart related.❤️🙏
It is called tech syndrome. It is now a recognized diagnosis and condition created by hunching over a desk and working for hours at a time without a break.
Well, that’s different. I’m familiar with that. I just didn’t know it had a name. I had constant neck and shoulder pain and upper back pain when I was working because I had such a poor workstation.
I feel like there’s so much of this on Substack, burn out or disappointment in readership, etc. I feel badly for writers for that. Just be yourself please.
This may be one of the most important messages I’ve read in years, and I’m incredibly grateful and impressed that you trusted yourself — and your readers — to share this area of your life in which you were vulnerable.
Because, if we’re honest, it’s an area of life in which most of us are vulnerable, especially we "seasoned” women.
Thank you, Monica.
This. This is why I wrote it.
Not because Greg did anything wrong. He didn’t.
Because so many of us have spent years overriding that quiet voice inside ourselves, then wondering why we no longer trust what we feel.
Elizabeth understood the message exactly.
Totally agree - an awesome writing thank you Monica.
I loved this story and what YOU brought to it. I saw myself in it 😔. Ihad the same thing happen… a challenge from a man to scale my business and go global that was a kinda fun and had promise until Convid put the kybosh on travel. Ultimately I lost my business and all my retirement savings. Looking back, it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but a man equated it to my value and off I went.
This was just what I needed today. I started following some suggested sell it techniques and I freeze. That’s not my energy so my writing and my posting froze a bit too thank you for explaining what was going on.
OMG! What a jewel this story is and how it hits home!!!
“Oh thank you? Really?? You think I could do that?!?”
Argh!!!! I’ve BEEN there and you articulate it SO perfectly!!!
I’m slowly but surely learning to trust myself and hear myself…one step at a time.
Thanks so much for this story! Xoxo 😘
https://monicahebert.substack.com/p/greg-did-nothing-wrong-d77?r=2h2j0g&utm_medium=ios
Hi Monica. Good to have you ‘home’. Your ordeal was so familiar.
Even though we are close in age our decades make a difference. You, I assume, were born in the 50s, me in the 60s. In high school the career councillors tried steering me into social services, working with people, stuff like that. I am a total introvert!! No way would being around people, dealing with their stuff, would be good for me. I am a logical person, problem solver, technology savvy, and tinkerer. I had dreams of breaking career barriers. Stretch dream being a “Line(wo)man for the County” but ended up in the telecommunications manufacturing industry.
The funny part is I have helped and trained many factory line workers. I oversee their work and address issues and problems on the fly. I help resolve those issues and it takes a lot of personal interaction.
So what do you know? I’m a technical counselor instead of a social worker.
Life is a trip!
If your induced dream was Empire, maybe you’ll settle into a couple of monthly get together sessions that bring lots of eyes on your work. Campfires to gather. In the days between is an ice cold Coke, pillows and the gut knowledge you’ve helped so many women, and a few men, with tools to give their lives a hard honest look. And maybe shed some tears of joy and gratitude.
You know who you are.
And yes, I see myself all over these “pages.” Thanks for putting into words what I’ve been feeling.
“optimal time to monetize my vulnerability” Wow.
Yes, vulnerability seems a terrible thing to monetize. It needs tlc instead
Brilliant in many ways! Thank you Monica!
Between this post and the discussion we had in last week’s Breakthrough, I’m feeling unsettled and challenged - in a good way, I think. At least I hope so. This is the kind of challenge I was looking for and why I subscribed to your Substack. Thank you, Monica.
The most powerful sentence in that whole article for me is this…
“And I stay there until I feel myself.”
It 100% explains my need for slow mornings & the unexpected energy flip that all of a sudden urges me into action again. It also explains why sometimes it takes a whole day and then a slow morning to feel myself again after a particularly intense few days of busyness, pushing & over-commitment! I need a longer recovery time to feel myself again…
I’ve also been the one who takes someone else’s idea about or for me in a ball & runs with it, never stopping once to ask if I wanted it or not. I just need to get to that goalpost someone else created for me…! Self abandonment 101 - I was a Star at it 🌟
And “you’re so good at it”!!! Uuurrrgghhh 😩😖😠 don’t get me started!
I’m good at lots of things it seems, but do I want to be? Is it in alignment with the life that is right for me?
Thank you for this powerful article🙏🏼🤩💖
This is an excellent article. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability with us. Tribe indeed.
We who over function salute you for providing a stop sign (or maybe a yield)
Unbelievable timing. You wrote what I am struggling with right now; holding onto routines/work that I am really ready to let go, so I don’t disappoint anyone. In actuality, no one‘s gonna be disappointed if I decide to change course. It’s all in my head. Plus I like the positive feedback I get that feeds my ego. So it’s less scary to continue what I’m doing, rather than to take a leap of faith and trust myself. What you wrote is exactly the push that I needed to make some changes in my life. One more thing, your comment about the pain in your back, going down your left arm, etc. please get checked out soon, if you have not done so already, by a cardiologist. It might be stress related, or it might be heart related.❤️🙏
It is called tech syndrome. It is now a recognized diagnosis and condition created by hunching over a desk and working for hours at a time without a break.
Well, that’s different. I’m familiar with that. I just didn’t know it had a name. I had constant neck and shoulder pain and upper back pain when I was working because I had such a poor workstation.
I feel like there’s so much of this on Substack, burn out or disappointment in readership, etc. I feel badly for writers for that. Just be yourself please.