I Don't Leave Myself Anymore—Not Even at Breakfast
Don't want breakfast today, but I'll go. It will be ok becaue my primary relationship is with my soul now—she steadies me through small talk.
Why Am I Going If I Don’t Want to Go?
I’ve got breakfast this morning. Greg and amutual friend. She’s tried to get us all together three times already. This is round four.
And here I am, getting ready to go.
But I’m asking myself something I can’t ignore:
Why am I going if I don’t want to go?
Not because I’m antisocial. Not because I’m bitter. Not because I’m above it.
I just… don’t want to go.
And for once in my life, I don’t feel like pretending otherwise.
That’s new.
This year, something shifted because I built a relationship with my soul that feels more intimate than anything else in my life. I found it through breath—slow, steady, daily breath. The kind that pulls you back into yourself when everything else wants you to perform.
And that relationship? It makes small talk hard. It makes performative socializing feel heavy. It makes me feel how quickly I can disappear when I override what I know is true.
I don’t want to go back to the version of me who would twist herself to keep other people comfortable.
But I’m still going.
Because I’m also a woman who knows how to choose kindness. Because I do care. Because I said yes.
So here’s what I’m practicing today:
How to be true to myself while doing something I’d rather not do.
How to stay soft without shape-shifting.
How to stay in my body without bracing.
And when I feel myself slipping?
I’ll do what I always do now: Breathe.
Four in. Four hold. Six out.
That’s what I talked about in my most recent live. Not breath as a life hack. Breath as a tether. Breath as a way to stay honest even in rooms where I once disappeared.
🎥 Watch “Immense Gratitude”
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This is what we practice here.
Sovereignty in motion. Kindness with boundaries. Breath that brings you back.
2026 is going to be even more electric. And if you’re ready to walk into next year with your soul intact—
✨ 20% off through Dec 31
If this resonates, tap the ❤️ and pass it along to someone who's ready.
Your posts reach in and help me exactly where l need it the most at this stage in my life 🙏✨🤍
Wow, can I relate! 2025 was the year of listening to what my heart and body needed. I turned down more invitations than any other year. When showing up was important to nourish a friendship, I went, even if I didn’t want to. Being able to recognize and honor what you need is a gift.
P.S. Thank you for reminding me to breathe. I’d grown pretty lax with my breathing practice, and now I’m back at it.
Cheers, Monica!