Another POWERFUL story that, like me, I'm sure many women can identify with. It makes me proud to be in the heroic company of phoenixes! So many of us have had to make an about face, leave the familiar behind while others called us crazy. Because in the eyes of the world, it made no sense.
Monica, your story of the courage and trust it takes to live one's truth is a great reminder that we are not alone. I can't thank you enough!
Love this insight “… that's not weakness showing up uninvited. That's evidence. Evidence that you survived something that was designed to make you disappear. And you didn't.” Evidence that “THAT” did not ‘unalive’ 😆us or force us to permanently morph into an unrecognizable version of ourselves that is ‘more palatable to the masses’.
Love too the insight that even the most difficult experiences are ‘gifts’ that can help us move more freely towards who we are becoming.
You are a gift to us, Monica. A welcome surprise gift 🎁 filled with perspectives and insights and even ‘hows’ on becoming more of who we’ve always been at our core.
I’m saddened by the wrongs (cloaked in ‘uprightness’) that were directed your way, yet they have made you sharp. Sharp like a utility knife and the skillful Hands of One that carefully cuts open a heavily taped and tie-wrapped box (metaphor for other’s limiting perspectives) that very tightly constrains a deflated mattress (metaphor for readers/seekers). The deflated mattress, now unwrapped, is free to unfold and breathe and receive the air needed to become the fullness of the thing/entity it was designed to be … a great foundation and core for the greatness that is and is to come.
One of the turning points for me was when I had made my husband and three children meatloaf rolls. Along with some side dishes. We all sat down to dinner at my husband said ---those look like a pile of shit.
I still hadn't come into myself enough to stand up for myself, but I did not forget the embarrassment and pain of that experience.
When you're going to leave someone. I think it seldom happens all at once… It's a series of things until finally you know.
What a super post, Monica, this really resonated with me. The hurt when people you are supposed to hold in trust, don't stand up for you. It is the paycheck that never arrives after a lifelong commitment to "serve others". And that was exactly the right time to "hand in your notice".
What I really also admire is your 30 second decision to not only look after your daughters, but the bigger decision ypu took: to not pass this onto the next generation. It stopped right there with you. I really admire you ❤️.
I think you took that "brick through your window" for them and it stopped right there where it landed. Whatever your daughters may or may not know about what you went through, I am sure they admire you as it shines through, as it did that day.
Everything you say resonates. You are incredible. What a force of freedom. I, too, am guided by the clarity of my soul and do my best to make sure the spirit, not my analytical overthinking mind, is my guide and antennae. how you capture and explain these situations and patterns? I will ask myself now in the face of situations, 'what old part of me got bumped?'. And breathe through the situations as I nurture and heal that part. With huge gratitude for being YOU!
I read your story yesterday, and I am so sorry you experienced such judgement from the church people. I know I would have done the same thing you did. Leave. End of story. Being a pastor is not easy, being a pastor’s wife, probably harder. Sadly, churches can be a cruel place. I always said the church is not the building, the people are the church! The people who are supposed to be the believers to work to be more like Jesus in all endeavors of life and not just on Sundays.
I learned there is a double standard; I noticed for married female pastors, the spouse is not expected to even attend church, let alone bring muffins and casseroles and volunteer personal time in every fundraiser, and being a supportive voice in every church need. The husband of the pastor was a faithful man and had a construction ministry leadership role and volunteered many hours to seniors in need, in HIS way, and in his way with no complaints, he was in the construction business as his full time job, extending his daytime skills to a ministry. Imagine if a pastor’s wife did her own thing, in His ((Jesus) way and in her way of serving of her choosing? Not attending church services or bringing muffins, etc. Having no family to speak of except my husband and pets, I love having a church family, and miss it. I or we just have not stepped out to search for our next church home. It should not feel like work to do so. I could go on and on. But I don’t need to with you. Peace and blessings to you for sharing. I hope it helps bring you more healing and wisdom that you so graciously share on your lovely stack for all women, but especially us mature women out there. 🙏🏻
Monica, your story is a powerful one. A similar story others have experienced. I'm glad you found a way out of that life. Thank you for sharing your truth.
I live in AZ, so my time is currently 3 hours earlier than you. But oh my! The honesty and reality of this piece hit me like a 2x4! And yes, a church without doors…says A TON!
Another POWERFUL story that, like me, I'm sure many women can identify with. It makes me proud to be in the heroic company of phoenixes! So many of us have had to make an about face, leave the familiar behind while others called us crazy. Because in the eyes of the world, it made no sense.
Monica, your story of the courage and trust it takes to live one's truth is a great reminder that we are not alone. I can't thank you enough!
Love this insight “… that's not weakness showing up uninvited. That's evidence. Evidence that you survived something that was designed to make you disappear. And you didn't.” Evidence that “THAT” did not ‘unalive’ 😆us or force us to permanently morph into an unrecognizable version of ourselves that is ‘more palatable to the masses’.
Love too the insight that even the most difficult experiences are ‘gifts’ that can help us move more freely towards who we are becoming.
You are a gift to us, Monica. A welcome surprise gift 🎁 filled with perspectives and insights and even ‘hows’ on becoming more of who we’ve always been at our core.
I’m saddened by the wrongs (cloaked in ‘uprightness’) that were directed your way, yet they have made you sharp. Sharp like a utility knife and the skillful Hands of One that carefully cuts open a heavily taped and tie-wrapped box (metaphor for other’s limiting perspectives) that very tightly constrains a deflated mattress (metaphor for readers/seekers). The deflated mattress, now unwrapped, is free to unfold and breathe and receive the air needed to become the fullness of the thing/entity it was designed to be … a great foundation and core for the greatness that is and is to come.
Thankful for you.
Write ON ✊
No need to explain metaphors…Monica and some of her readers are walking metaphors in celebration!🎉
Performance review with hymns! 🤣 Love 💕 it in so many ways!
One of the turning points for me was when I had made my husband and three children meatloaf rolls. Along with some side dishes. We all sat down to dinner at my husband said ---those look like a pile of shit.
I still hadn't come into myself enough to stand up for myself, but I did not forget the embarrassment and pain of that experience.
When you're going to leave someone. I think it seldom happens all at once… It's a series of things until finally you know.
What a super post, Monica, this really resonated with me. The hurt when people you are supposed to hold in trust, don't stand up for you. It is the paycheck that never arrives after a lifelong commitment to "serve others". And that was exactly the right time to "hand in your notice".
What I really also admire is your 30 second decision to not only look after your daughters, but the bigger decision ypu took: to not pass this onto the next generation. It stopped right there with you. I really admire you ❤️.
I think you took that "brick through your window" for them and it stopped right there where it landed. Whatever your daughters may or may not know about what you went through, I am sure they admire you as it shines through, as it did that day.
Everything you say resonates. You are incredible. What a force of freedom. I, too, am guided by the clarity of my soul and do my best to make sure the spirit, not my analytical overthinking mind, is my guide and antennae. how you capture and explain these situations and patterns? I will ask myself now in the face of situations, 'what old part of me got bumped?'. And breathe through the situations as I nurture and heal that part. With huge gratitude for being YOU!
💔
I read your story yesterday, and I am so sorry you experienced such judgement from the church people. I know I would have done the same thing you did. Leave. End of story. Being a pastor is not easy, being a pastor’s wife, probably harder. Sadly, churches can be a cruel place. I always said the church is not the building, the people are the church! The people who are supposed to be the believers to work to be more like Jesus in all endeavors of life and not just on Sundays.
I learned there is a double standard; I noticed for married female pastors, the spouse is not expected to even attend church, let alone bring muffins and casseroles and volunteer personal time in every fundraiser, and being a supportive voice in every church need. The husband of the pastor was a faithful man and had a construction ministry leadership role and volunteered many hours to seniors in need, in HIS way, and in his way with no complaints, he was in the construction business as his full time job, extending his daytime skills to a ministry. Imagine if a pastor’s wife did her own thing, in His ((Jesus) way and in her way of serving of her choosing? Not attending church services or bringing muffins, etc. Having no family to speak of except my husband and pets, I love having a church family, and miss it. I or we just have not stepped out to search for our next church home. It should not feel like work to do so. I could go on and on. But I don’t need to with you. Peace and blessings to you for sharing. I hope it helps bring you more healing and wisdom that you so graciously share on your lovely stack for all women, but especially us mature women out there. 🙏🏻
Cheering you on Monica! Cheering you on!
Monica, your story is a powerful one. A similar story others have experienced. I'm glad you found a way out of that life. Thank you for sharing your truth.
I live in AZ, so my time is currently 3 hours earlier than you. But oh my! The honesty and reality of this piece hit me like a 2x4! And yes, a church without doors…says A TON!