Most women don’t see themselves as important. We’ve been trained to serve, comply, and call it virtue. We listen to advice from every direction — doctors, kids, husbands, preachers, podcasts — until we can’t even hear ourselves anymore.
I learned that lesson the day I decided to hire my own doctor.
You read that correctly, I decided I would HIRE my doctor, not just accept a date for an appointment.
About 25 years ago, I moved to a new town and needed a GYN. My daughters recommended one, so I made an appointment. I arrived early, signed in, and the receptionist handed me a clipboard full of forms.
I smiled and said,
“No, I’m not doing that yet.”
She blinked. “Pardon me?”
“I want to go sit in his office and interview him,” I said, “because I’m considering hiring him to be part of my healthcare team.”
I knew he could hear me in the back.
Sure enough, out he came — calm, curious.
He said, “Seat her in my office.”
And that’s where we talked. I conducted an interview with questions that would let me know if he would be a good fit with MY LIFE, not his practice. He passed with flying colors, then I told him I’d be paying cash — no insurance games, no middlemen. I hired him on the spot, told him how he could expect payment. He agreed to my terms. And I am glad to report I had a very healhty and proactive experience with this doctor.
As I was preparing to leave his office, he leaned forward and said,
“We don’t get many people in here who act like advocates for themselves. Most folks just do whatever I tell them.”
And I thought — well, that’s the whole problem, isn’t it?
Most women live like employees of their own lives.
Taking orders. Seeking approval. Forgetting their crown.
We were raised to hand over our authority in the name of being nice, responsible, humble, or good.
But I want you to flip the script.
You are not an employee of your life.
You are the Queen of it.
You’re the queen of your kitchen, your bathroom, your body, your finances, your art, your calendar, your peace.
You are the CEO, the CFO, and the High Priestess of your own joy.
Here’s what Queen Energy looks like:
Later tonight I will go downstairs and have a drink with Greg on our patio.
THE OLD me might’ve shuffled out there, polite and thankful:
“Oh, that’s so nice, thank you for pouring me a drink.”
Not anymore.
Now I walk in smiling like I own the space, ( oddly Greg actually does own our building! ) look him dead in the eye, and say,
“Yo, Bubba — you got my drink ready? I’m here. Let’s go.”
It changes everything. He jumps up, scampers to pull out a chair for me, makes sure I am comfortable , then asks how I’d like my drink: straight up or on the rocks.
Because when you walk like the queen of your own life, people rise to meet you at your level.
So here’s your royal decree for the week:
Stop waiting for permission.
Stop apologizing for wanting more.
Pick one corner of your life — your kitchen, your body, your art, your friendships — and crown yourself Queen.
Say it out loud if you have to:
“I am the Queen of everything I see.”
And then act like it.
✨ Join the Monirose Soul Circle
Inside the Monirose Soul Circle, this is exactly what we do together — step into our power, laugh through the chaos, and reclaim the parts of ourselves we left behind.
Paid members get:
💬 Sunday Night Zoom Circles — where we talk, laugh, cry, and rise together.
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🎨 Exclusive resources, art, and reflections — all designed to keep you walking in your Queen Energy.
If you’ve been nodding along, come join us.
We’re already inside, crowns on, drinks poured, waiting for you.
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No, I'm not doing doing that is the solution to the entire mess we see
My lovely departed father-in-law called me the queen when we first married. I don’t feel like a Queen, but I will envision James with that sparkle in his eye as he grins and say’s “Here comes my Queen” and then I will adopt that persona. Thanks for a great article!