The danger of the "Same-Day Loop"

(and a cure for boredom)

Hi Friend,

I’ve been thinking lately about the emotional importance of having something to get excited about in retirement.

If you live within a bustling, happy family, anticipation kind of gets delivered to your door for free. There are visits to look forward to, parties to plan, grandchildren doing something chaotic but cute, and constant news.

But what happens when that isn’t your daily reality? How do you create excitement by yourself, for yourself?

For me, excitement arrives with a sudden spark. It might be a new essay I want to write, a canvas I want to paint, or—in moments of true wildness—an aggressive plan to reorganize my spice shelf. The size of the idea doesn’t matter. What matters is that little surge of dopamine that says, “Oh, I want to do that right now.”

My excitement comes from my own brain. It doesn’t require an RSVP, a formal invitation, or another person to trigger it.

After eight years of retirement, I am fully convinced that personal projects are life-giving. They wake up my curiosity and give me a reason to get out of bed. Sometimes an idea grows out of simple curiosity. Other times, it strikes out of nowhere and sends me racing toward a canvas, a notebook, or, yes, the kitchen cabinets.

We are constantly told by productivity gurus that “repetition reaps rewards.” And sure, maybe it does if you’re training for the Olympics. But what is the reward for repeating the exact same day for eight years straight? The same morning routine, the same coffee mug, the same walk, the same evening television lineup, until one year quietly folds into the next?

A rigid routine keeps your life organized, but enthusiasm makes you feel alive.

Otherwise, you’re just a very organized ghost.

This is why I constantly urge women over sixty to look backward to move forward. Remember what excited you when you were young. You don’t need to recreate the past (nobody is asking you to join a high school gymnastics team again), but those old memories usually hold the seed of something you would love right now.

The dream itself may have changed. You certainly have. But the part of you that once felt curious, eager, and fully alive didn’t vanish when you turned sixty. You might just need something entirely your own to get excited about again.

Speaking of things to get excited about...

Today is my Birthday!

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Warmly,

Monica Hebert