Dear God,
We need to talk.
For years, I treated You like a vending machine in the sky.
I did all the things.
I journaled.
I meditated.
I spun my chakras like a well-oiled ceiling fan.
And the deal—the deal—was this:
If I stayed aligned, surrendered my desires, spoke my affirmations, and didn’t cuss too loudly at the moon...
You would deliver.
Right?
That was our u…