The Day I Fired God as My Life Coach

...and ended my cosmic performance review cycle

Dear God,

We need to talk.

For years, I treated You like a vending machine in the sky.
I did all the things.
I journaled.
I meditated.
I spun my chakras like a well-oiled ceiling fan.

And the deal—the deal—was this:
If I stayed aligned, surrendered my desires, spoke my affirmations, and didn’t cuss too loudly at the moon...
You would deliver.
Right?

That was our unspoken contract, wasn’t it?

I hold up my end by being “spiritually responsible”...
You hold up Yours by opening doors, dropping money, sparking miracles, and handing me my dream life on a lotus blossom.

But here’s the thing.
I kept doing my part—while You kept going mysteriously quiet.

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The Transactional Trap

I didn’t realize it at first, but I had turned my entire relationship with the Divine into a performance-based contract.

If I visualized enough, I’d get the relationship.
If I aligned my energy just right, I’d get the money.
If I stayed in “high vibe,” I’d be protected from loss, disappointment, or delay.

I wasn’t relating to You.
I was managing You.
Trying to unlock cosmic rewards through perfect spiritual behavior.

And when nothing happened the way I expected, I didn’t question the contract.
I questioned myself.

I must not have journaled hard enough.
Maybe I missed a shadow.
Maybe Mercury was in microwave again.

It was exhausting.

---

The Day I Called Bullsh*t

There wasn’t thunder. There wasn’t lightning.
Just me, sitting in my kitchen one morning, tired of feeling like I was always behind on some invisible divine to-do list.

And I said, out loud:

“You’re fired.”

Not because I was angry at You.
But because I realized… I don’t need a life coach who waits for me to earn goodness.
I need a partner.
A witness.
A presence beside me, not a puppet master above me.

---

What I Took Back Into My Own Hands

I stopped waiting for signs.
I started making moves.
I built a platform, wrote my truth, shared my art, and showed up when I didn’t feel ready.

And slowly—something shifted.

Not because You “finally rewarded me,” but because I stopped waiting to be rewarded.

That’s when the clarity came.
The subscribers.
The sales.
The momentum.

Because I wasn’t looking to be rescued anymore.
I was looking to create, with You at my side instead of over my head.

---

If You’re Still Waiting for Your Reward

I get it.
You’ve done the work. You’ve trusted the process. You’ve waited and waited for life to finally swing your way.

But babe—
You’re not stuck because you’re unworthy.
You’re stuck because you're still waiting to be chosen by something outside yourself.

Fire the performance-based god.
Promote the quiet presence that trusts you back.

Co-create with that.

---

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