I have learned to express my preferences after 20 years of losing my voice. I still feel guilty doing it and sometimes I might sound rude or too angry. I am practicing anyway.
Your words are so true. I had a pest husband that I intended to divorce, but exactly a day before I was booked to depose the action, he had a very bad accident and I sat to look after him one more year. Then I left. I kicked him out from my house after other two years.
I suppose I was borne with a kinda sense of duty.
I find my happiness in parallel actions, not in a husband. Within years I became very good at this. And this became my nature. I’m doing what is right, not what is comfortable for me. My actual husband is struggling with dementia and MS. We don’t talk sense anymore. But we still share peace together.
Sometimes I feel tired, but is flying in a jiffy. I can walk, I can eat myself, I can do my garden, I can work at my tapestry, I play my piano, I can read a book or your thoughts, good people from Substack. I’m happy.
I am so grateful l found you ♥️
Your essay resonates so very deeply with me. Every. single. Word. Thank you for expressing what I’ve long felt but never could express.
This is so well written. My favorite part: Good grief, ladies. How many years are we supposed to spend asking permission to have a preference?
At 82 and the first born only daughter of an abusive father I learned NOT to express any preference.
I learned the lesson and I still do not express a preference.
I have learned to express my preferences after 20 years of losing my voice. I still feel guilty doing it and sometimes I might sound rude or too angry. I am practicing anyway.
I think I sound like I don’t have an opinion so no one questions my being quiet.
The only time I am ferocious is when someone is abusive in any way in any situation 😡
Your words are so true. I had a pest husband that I intended to divorce, but exactly a day before I was booked to depose the action, he had a very bad accident and I sat to look after him one more year. Then I left. I kicked him out from my house after other two years.
I suppose I was borne with a kinda sense of duty.
I find my happiness in parallel actions, not in a husband. Within years I became very good at this. And this became my nature. I’m doing what is right, not what is comfortable for me. My actual husband is struggling with dementia and MS. We don’t talk sense anymore. But we still share peace together.
Sometimes I feel tired, but is flying in a jiffy. I can walk, I can eat myself, I can do my garden, I can work at my tapestry, I play my piano, I can read a book or your thoughts, good people from Substack. I’m happy.
I love you turned retire to rewire. That had been my beautiful retirement years experience.
I love what you share and enjoy reading about your very interesting life.