The Day I Stopped Talking Myself Out of My Own Life
I thought I was being practical — turns out, I was rehearsing defeat. Here’s what happened when I finally decided my life mattered to me.
Do You Argue for Your Limitations?
I used to think I was being realistic.
“I don’t have time to paint today.”
“I can’t start something new at my age.”
“I’m too tired, too busy, too late.”
It sounded responsible — like I was being a good grown-up, keeping my feet on the ground.
But really, I was just arguing for my limitations.
It’s a sneaky habit.
We don’t call it fear — we call it practicality.
We call it common sense.
But underneath all that logic, what we’re really saying is,
“I don’t trust myself to try.”
And here’s how it sounds in everyday life:
I’d love to travel, but…
I want to get healthy, but you know how it is at my age.
I’d paint/write/dance again if I had the time, the space, the energy.
Maybe next year.
Maybe when things settle down.
Every “but” is a brick in the wall that keeps our brilliance contained.
Every excuse is a soft whisper of surrender.
We defend the very things that keep us small — and call it wisdom.
The day everything changed for me was the day I stopped arguing.
I didn’t make a grand declaration; I just decided to see what would happen if I stopped talking myself out of life.
I simply made a decision.
A declaration that my life mattered — to me.
The first thing I stopped doing was noticing what I didn’t like.
I flipped it. I started noticing what made me smile — what felt good to touch, tasted fabulous, or smelled downright delectable.
I pulled in all my senses.
After about a week of practice — voilà — my nervous system shifted.
My new natural set point became this: see the good first. Always.
It stopped my complaining — and it left no room to argue for my limitations or my excuses.
Here’s an example:
I see a lovely woman walking downtown, chatting with her friends. She’s about my age — laughing, glowing, free.
I used to go straight to envy.
Then I’d remind myself why I didn’t have her clothes, her body, her circle of friends —
arguing for my limitations, line by line.
Now?
I walk right up to her — a perfect stranger — and thank her for her smile, because it brightened my day.
That one simple shift — from comparing to appreciating — changed everything.
Because the way we see life is the way we shape it. The way we speak to ourselves builds the size of the life we allow.
When you argue for your limitations, you shrink your world to match your excuses. When you look for what’s beautiful, even for ten seconds, your nervous system gets the memo: we’re safe to expand.
You stop living like life is something that happens to you and start living like life is something you’re co-creating — moment by moment, choice by choice, thought by thought.
Arguing for your limitations is like standing at the doorway of your own freedom and saying,
“No thanks, I’m comfortable here in the hall.”
But the version of you that’s waiting?
She’s already on the other side.
She’s not broken, not behind, not too late.
She’s simply waiting for you to stop explaining why you can’t — and just begin.
Most women I know don’t even call it arguing for their limitations.
They call it being responsible.
They call it putting others first.
Let’s be honest — it’s a cover story.
Take my BFF. She’s retired, sweet as pie, never misses church, loves her grandkids.
But just getting her to carve out three minutes for herself? That’s a miracle.
Because she’s got her list.
The calls she has to make for the ladies’ group.
The errands, the dinners, the caregiving.
And under all that? The quiet belief that her own life doesn’t count as much as everyone else’s.
Here’s my question:
What would actually happen if you didn’t do everything expected of you this week?
If you let someone else handle the calls?
If you said, “Not today — I’ve got something else to do for me.”
No explanation. No guilt. No justification.
Because every time you over-explain why you want something good for yourself,
you reinforce the lie that you need permission.
Stop arguing for your limitations.
Stop explaining why you can’t.
You say you don’t have time?
You had time to scroll Facebook.
You had time to send the email.
You had time to ask for the PDF I made for you — and I gave it freely.
So here’s my challenge:
Pick one thing you’ve been arguing yourself out of,
and stop arguing.
Do it.
No excuses.
No apologies.
Just you — choosing you.
Because here’s the truth, sister — no one’s coming to hand you your life back.
You’ve got to take it.
You’ve got to decide that your time matters just as much as anyone else’s.
You’ve mothered, managed, ministered, and mended everyone else long enough.
It’s okay to want more for yourself — it’s not selfish, it’s sacred.
Now it’s your turn.
So stop waiting for a break in the noise.
Make one.
Stop asking for permission.
You already have it.
And for God’s sake, stop arguing for your limitations —
you’ve been doing it so long you’ve started mistaking the cage for the home.
Crack it open.
Step out.
Three minutes is all it takes to start a revolution in your own damn life.
✨ Join the Monirose Soul Circle
If this message stirred something in you — if you’re ready to stop arguing for your limitations and start reclaiming your aliveness — then come join us inside the Monirose Soul Circle.
Inside our private circle, you’ll get:
💬 Sunday Night Zoom Gatherings — real talk, real women, real breakthroughs.
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📚 Exclusive Resources & Reflections — all designed to help you live with soul first, excuses last.
This is where the real transformation happens — not in isolation, but in community.
Click the link below to become a paid subscriber and pull up a chair at the table.
We’re waiting for you, sister.
Let’s stop arguing for smallness — and live wide open again.
Join the Monirose Soul Circle
And for God’s sake, stop arguing for your limitations —
you’ve been doing it so long you’ve started mistaking the cage for the home.
Crack it open.
Step out.
Three minutes is all it takes to start a revolution in your own damn life.
Pink Angel — Download File/ Printable Fine Art
Meet Pink Angel, a radiant expression of tenderness and strength wrapped in a luminous dance of rose, violet, and gold. This piece hums with both softness and courage — a reminder that your light doesn’t have to shout to be undeniable.
Perfect for framing, gifting, or placing anywhere you want to invite a little more beauty and spirit into your daily life.
I love this so much! Art has been calling to me, I want to do more and I am going to. Thank you!
You really know how to lay it out. I like that. You bring out thoughts that are there but hidden. I felt like you were talking to me. Thank you