Thank you Monica. Yeah I’m floating around in some kind of outer space … def alien space. You remind me not to panic, to wait the reboot and just enjoy the float. Love the blue white flowers … x
I hear you. That outer-space feeling is real. It’s like the old gravity disappears and you haven’t quite grown the new grounding yet. I’ve had moments where I thought something was wrong simply because nothing was pulling at me anymore.
You’re not lost. You’re just in the middle of the reboot, and it has its own strange quiet. Panic is the old system trying to wake itself back up.
Let yourself float a little. Let the new rhythm find you.
And thank you about the morning glories. They’re teaching me more than I expected.
I have found myself in the middle of this transition, and I don’t know what’s happening or if I like it. but for the first time in my life, I’m not arguing. maybe I need this time out. only time will tell…
I hear you. This kind of transition doesn’t announce itself with clarity or comfort. It just shows up one day and the old reactions you’ve lived on your whole life don’t fire anymore. That alone can feel unsettling.
Not arguing is a big sign, by the way. It means the old defensive wiring is losing its grip. It’s not weakness. It’s not giving up. It’s the system powering down because it no longer needs to protect you in the same way.
You don’t have to like it yet. Most of us don’t at first. But needing a time out is not a failure or a backslide. It’s often the body saying… enough. Let me recalibrate.
You’re not doing anything wrong.
You’re in the middle of becoming someone you’ve never been before.
Time will tell, yes — but your soul already knows.
Thank you for this. It is disorienting. Sometimes I sit -- very still -- & just look out the window. Just being. No worrying, constructing imaginary arguments to defend myself or shame. Just now.
The other day I referred to your re-boot: said my OS is getting updated. 🤓
Oh I feel that. Disorienting is the perfect word for it. There are moments when I realize I am just sitting, breathing, looking out the window… and nothing in me is trying to rehearse an argument or defend my existence. It feels strange because stillness was never the operating system we were handed.
What you described is exactly what I am living. Not zoning out. Not checking out. Just existing without the old tension running the show.
And yes, your OS is getting updated. Mine too. It feels like someone turned off the old circuitry and the silence is so profound it takes a minute to trust it.
I could not have read your post on a better day! My background is different from yours, but I lived a hustle and bustle life. At 80-1/2, I am slowing down, and truly don't know how I feel about it. Thank you .
Oh I’m so glad it met you on the right day. And 80½ is no small milestone. Slowing down after a lifetime of hustle isn’t simple — it asks you to meet yourself in a whole new way.
What I wrote about wasn’t just easing off the gas. It felt like the entire nervous system I lived on for decades finally laid itself to rest. That kind of shift can feel confusing, even unsettling, no matter our age.
Thank you for sharing where you are. There’s a lot of courage in admitting you’re in unfamiliar territory, even now. We’re both learning how to live without the old pace, without the old pressure. You’re not alone in that.
Thank you Monica. Yeah I’m floating around in some kind of outer space … def alien space. You remind me not to panic, to wait the reboot and just enjoy the float. Love the blue white flowers … x
I hear you. That outer-space feeling is real. It’s like the old gravity disappears and you haven’t quite grown the new grounding yet. I’ve had moments where I thought something was wrong simply because nothing was pulling at me anymore.
You’re not lost. You’re just in the middle of the reboot, and it has its own strange quiet. Panic is the old system trying to wake itself back up.
Let yourself float a little. Let the new rhythm find you.
And thank you about the morning glories. They’re teaching me more than I expected.
That becoming yourself feels like stillness.
I love that. Thank you 💜
Yes, I have found that becoming myself, or re-finding myself, feels like stillness. And it gives me a sense of sustained contentment.
Thank you. I’m definitely feeling this a lot lately myself.
I have found myself in the middle of this transition, and I don’t know what’s happening or if I like it. but for the first time in my life, I’m not arguing. maybe I need this time out. only time will tell…
I hear you. This kind of transition doesn’t announce itself with clarity or comfort. It just shows up one day and the old reactions you’ve lived on your whole life don’t fire anymore. That alone can feel unsettling.
Not arguing is a big sign, by the way. It means the old defensive wiring is losing its grip. It’s not weakness. It’s not giving up. It’s the system powering down because it no longer needs to protect you in the same way.
You don’t have to like it yet. Most of us don’t at first. But needing a time out is not a failure or a backslide. It’s often the body saying… enough. Let me recalibrate.
You’re not doing anything wrong.
You’re in the middle of becoming someone you’ve never been before.
Time will tell, yes — but your soul already knows.
thanks for getting in touch, Monica… means a lot…
Thank you back
Most welcome.
Thank you for this. It is disorienting. Sometimes I sit -- very still -- & just look out the window. Just being. No worrying, constructing imaginary arguments to defend myself or shame. Just now.
The other day I referred to your re-boot: said my OS is getting updated. 🤓
Oh I feel that. Disorienting is the perfect word for it. There are moments when I realize I am just sitting, breathing, looking out the window… and nothing in me is trying to rehearse an argument or defend my existence. It feels strange because stillness was never the operating system we were handed.
What you described is exactly what I am living. Not zoning out. Not checking out. Just existing without the old tension running the show.
And yes, your OS is getting updated. Mine too. It feels like someone turned off the old circuitry and the silence is so profound it takes a minute to trust it.
But this is the new life.
Just now.
Just being.
No apology needed.
Thank you for saying it out loud.
I could not have read your post on a better day! My background is different from yours, but I lived a hustle and bustle life. At 80-1/2, I am slowing down, and truly don't know how I feel about it. Thank you .
Oh I’m so glad it met you on the right day. And 80½ is no small milestone. Slowing down after a lifetime of hustle isn’t simple — it asks you to meet yourself in a whole new way.
What I wrote about wasn’t just easing off the gas. It felt like the entire nervous system I lived on for decades finally laid itself to rest. That kind of shift can feel confusing, even unsettling, no matter our age.
Thank you for sharing where you are. There’s a lot of courage in admitting you’re in unfamiliar territory, even now. We’re both learning how to live without the old pace, without the old pressure. You’re not alone in that.