Reading about your scarfs, I never thought about things this way. Things were just there. I’ll pay more attention now as to why. It may be because I just didn’t feel like putting them away but then again it may be something deeper inside of me. I won’t know unless I just stop, look, and breathe.
Bingo! Initially I just did not want to deal with that pile. So they sat there. But when I did choose to really look at them, that's when my soul showed me the truth. I don't need them because I am not the same women I used to be. Be presenet with yourself, your soul will show you
Proof of life: MOVEMENT. Flow. It comes in waves, NOT linear. Thank you, Monica. I am taking more time to pause, listen, respond to the little nudges in a hopeful, positive way. 🫂
I woke this morning in a particularly contemplative mood, having spent the last four days languishing at home with the 'flu. I sat, coffee in hand and really looked around my lounge room, a room that has not essentially changed in 7 years since my husband passed, (with the exception of an enormous, multi-tiered cat tower that is.)
I looked at and into, everything. The paintings on the walls, the cushion covers, the lounge suite we bought 20+years ago, the rug he chose to match the curtains, the wooden coffee tables and TV cabinet he had specially made. And I realised that my whole house, in fact my life, is a giant pile of scarves and gloves and hats that I simply cannot "put away." I have not redecorated, renovated, removed or reinvented.....anything!
I ran his business for 6 years after he passed but it eventually failed and I sold up and retired. I've been in a relationship of sorts for 5 years that has morphed into more of a carer/friend role with a highly dependent man who's welfare I fear for, should I squash his vision of our future together.
My best friends are my late husband's mother and her husband. I have no blood-family of my own in this country and very little elsewhere.
Now I sit here at nearly 66 and wonder whether I should go out and actively seek another great love (and in all honesty, someone to take care of ME for a change!) Or, do I resign myself to just being a crazy cat lady and rely on my loyal and lovely girlfriends for companionship and help should I need it?
I practice yoga, meditation and breath work, I garden, I cook, I read, crochet and I volunteer at an aged care home (which I love!).
Could this be enough until I "shuffle off this mortal coil?" I'm neither lonely, nor depressed, just "stuck" and a little sad.
You’re not stuck because you’re broken. You’re stuck because you’ve checked every damn box and the payoff is missing.
You did the things — the breathwork, the volunteering, the yoga, the caregiving, the domestic harmony, the loyalty, the soft surrender — and it still feels like something’s off. Not tragic. Just… muted. Like someone turned the volume down on your life and forgot to turn it back up.
Let me say this out loud: you’re not asking for too much.
You’re asking for a life that reflects who you are now — not just the caretaker, not just the woman who was partnered, not just the capable one. You’re asking for something that returns you to yourself, and that’s not indulgent. That’s wise.
I created something called Refoundation for exactly this moment — for women who’ve done all the healing and tending and staying strong, and still feel like life’s on autopilot. It’s not a program. It’s a reclamation kit. Gentle. Soul-rooted. Private. You don’t need to change everything overnight. But it will help you start asking better questions. Questions that put you back in the center.
If you want it, I’ll send it to you. If not, just know you’ve already taken the bravest step — saying the quiet thing out loud.
That’s how it starts. That’s how we find the next thread.
Reading about your scarfs, I never thought about things this way. Things were just there. I’ll pay more attention now as to why. It may be because I just didn’t feel like putting them away but then again it may be something deeper inside of me. I won’t know unless I just stop, look, and breathe.
Bingo! Initially I just did not want to deal with that pile. So they sat there. But when I did choose to really look at them, that's when my soul showed me the truth. I don't need them because I am not the same women I used to be. Be presenet with yourself, your soul will show you
Proof of life: MOVEMENT. Flow. It comes in waves, NOT linear. Thank you, Monica. I am taking more time to pause, listen, respond to the little nudges in a hopeful, positive way. 🫂
I woke this morning in a particularly contemplative mood, having spent the last four days languishing at home with the 'flu. I sat, coffee in hand and really looked around my lounge room, a room that has not essentially changed in 7 years since my husband passed, (with the exception of an enormous, multi-tiered cat tower that is.)
I looked at and into, everything. The paintings on the walls, the cushion covers, the lounge suite we bought 20+years ago, the rug he chose to match the curtains, the wooden coffee tables and TV cabinet he had specially made. And I realised that my whole house, in fact my life, is a giant pile of scarves and gloves and hats that I simply cannot "put away." I have not redecorated, renovated, removed or reinvented.....anything!
I ran his business for 6 years after he passed but it eventually failed and I sold up and retired. I've been in a relationship of sorts for 5 years that has morphed into more of a carer/friend role with a highly dependent man who's welfare I fear for, should I squash his vision of our future together.
My best friends are my late husband's mother and her husband. I have no blood-family of my own in this country and very little elsewhere.
Now I sit here at nearly 66 and wonder whether I should go out and actively seek another great love (and in all honesty, someone to take care of ME for a change!) Or, do I resign myself to just being a crazy cat lady and rely on my loyal and lovely girlfriends for companionship and help should I need it?
I practice yoga, meditation and breath work, I garden, I cook, I read, crochet and I volunteer at an aged care home (which I love!).
Could this be enough until I "shuffle off this mortal coil?" I'm neither lonely, nor depressed, just "stuck" and a little sad.
Your thoughts?
Oh friend.
You’re not stuck because you’re broken. You’re stuck because you’ve checked every damn box and the payoff is missing.
You did the things — the breathwork, the volunteering, the yoga, the caregiving, the domestic harmony, the loyalty, the soft surrender — and it still feels like something’s off. Not tragic. Just… muted. Like someone turned the volume down on your life and forgot to turn it back up.
Let me say this out loud: you’re not asking for too much.
You’re asking for a life that reflects who you are now — not just the caretaker, not just the woman who was partnered, not just the capable one. You’re asking for something that returns you to yourself, and that’s not indulgent. That’s wise.
I created something called Refoundation for exactly this moment — for women who’ve done all the healing and tending and staying strong, and still feel like life’s on autopilot. It’s not a program. It’s a reclamation kit. Gentle. Soul-rooted. Private. You don’t need to change everything overnight. But it will help you start asking better questions. Questions that put you back in the center.
If you want it, I’ll send it to you. If not, just know you’ve already taken the bravest step — saying the quiet thing out loud.
That’s how it starts. That’s how we find the next thread.
Yes please! Refoundation! Sounds interesting!
Thank you for responding so quickly.....
ck your email! Reach out anytime with your thoughts, ideas or questions.
Got it! Thank you 🙏