The Magic of Becoming Who You Were Always Meant to Be

But at first, it was not what I expected.

The Magical Enchanted Forest

Girl. Let me tell you what happened today. I did something that’s been sitting on my to-do list for two whole years—something that should’ve taken me thirty minutes but instead took me 730 damn days to get around to.

I woke up this morning, mind full of conversations I didn’t like, my body feeling restless. So I did some deep breathing, and right in the middle of it, I heard it. Like a voice cutting straight through the noise:

“Today is the day you take back your name.”

And just like that, I knew. It was time.

The 30-Minute Task I Put Off for Two Years

So, here’s the deal: I’ve been carrying a hyphenated last name from my second marriage. When I lived in Louisiana, they let me drop my ex-husband’s name from my driver’s license like it was no big deal. But when I moved back to Virginia? Oh no, they needed proof. Either a divorce decree granting me permission to reclaim my own damn name (seriously??) or a court order making it official.

I never got around to it. Because life. Because who cares, it’s just a name, right? But today, I finally walked into the circuit court clerk’s office, filled out the papers, and—boom. Done. Task complete. Name officially mine again.

And you’d think I’d be walking out of there feeling free, empowered, like Beyoncé strutting onto a stage. But instead?

The Red Lady

I Sat on the Steps and Cried—Completely Alone.

No confetti. No cosmic shift. Just me, sitting outside the courthouse, feeling... nothing. And then, suddenly, everything.

At first, I figured, okay, maybe the excitement comes later. But as the day went on, the real thoughts started creeping in.

This wasn’t just about a name. It was about finality.

• I will never again carry a married name.

• I will never again be legally tied to anyone.

• I will never again belong to someone—not on paper, not in name, not in the way society told me I should.

For the first time, I am fully, completely, legally unattached.

And that realization didn’t just feel like freedom—it felt like grief.

Why Did I Put This Off for So Long?

I’ve been stewing on this all day, and I think I’ve figured it out.

I didn’t put this off because it was hard. I put it off because it meant stepping fully into the next version of myself.

No husband’s name. No borrowed identity. Just me.

Maybe I wasn’t just avoiding the paperwork. Maybe I was avoiding what it meant.

And Then… The Artist Revelation Smacked Me in the Face

As I was sitting with all these thoughts, something else hit me like a ton of bricks. My art.

For years, I’ve called myself an artist. And yeah, I got good at it. I taught myself how to paint. I built a career around it. But you know what? It never felt natural.

I don’t think about art. I don’t buy art. I don’t go to galleries. I never have. And now I know why.

Because I wasn’t an artist because I needed to create—I was an artist because my ex-husband was a concert pianist, and he wanted a creative wife.

So I became one.

I latched onto it like it was mine, when in reality, it was survival. I painted because I thought I had to. Because I thought if I didn’t, I’d lose him, the marriage, the life I thought I couldn’t survive without.

Turns out, I am quite capable. Who knew?

But that life is gone. And now, standing in this fully reclaimed identity of mine, I realize—I don’t have to carry that, either.

My art studio? Still a mess. A lingering remnant of a past identity I never fully claimed. Maybe it’s time to clean that out, too.

What do you need to clear out, remove either from your physical space or your mental space to make room for the dream you want to reclaim?

I put off reclaiming my name for two years. Not because it was difficult, but because it meant fully stepping into the next version of myself.

And that makes me wonder—what are YOU putting off?

• What dream, decision, or change have you been avoiding, even though you know it’s right?

• What identity have you carried that was never really yours?

• What are you still holding onto—not because you love it, but because you’re afraid to let it go?

Transformation isn’t just possible—it’s the entire point.

It’s what we are here to do. To shed, to reclaim, to rise.

You don’t wait for it. You create it.

And let me tell you—when you finally take that step, when you finally stop putting off the thing you KNOW is yours to claim?

You won’t just change your name. You’ll change your whole damn life.

I did it, I took the step. It’s like a breath of fresh air. I feel lighter, more curious, and have that peace that passes understanding. Ya know what comes with all of that? Courage! I am filled with a bountiful courage that I know will propel me into this new stage of my life so much so that I don't need to consider regret, worry or fear.

It’s all mine. Because I decided it was so.

So, I’ll ask you again—what are you waiting for?

Because if you need a sign? This is it.

Here’s the thing—I did it. I own it. And not only did I survive, but it also cracked open a flood of ideas that will knock your socks off.

What does that mean? It means I’m no longer dragging around energy weighed down by the past, no longer making progress harder than it needs to be.

Please, don’t wait. There is so much to discover when you reclaim the dreams you once set aside. I hope you’ll join me on this journey, because like my daddy told me every single day:

“Monica Rose, life is too short for a nap.”

So don’t nap on your dreams. Wake up and go get them.

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