The Three People Who Showed Up Uninvited and Never Left
This morning, I woke up… and there they were.
Already in the kitchen.
Didn’t knock. Didn’t ask. Just… in my home.
Mr. Woulda was at the table, stirring my coffee like he pays the mortgage.
Miss Shoulda had already opened the blinds and was inspecting the day like it was a failed group project.
And Mrs. Coulda… she was standing behind me. Quiet. Close. Waiting.
“Morning,” I said.
Big mistake.
That was all the invitation they needed.
Mr. Woulda leaned back in his chair, real casual.
“You know… you woulda been further along by now if you’d started earlier.”
Of course I would have, sir. Thank you for that groundbreaking insight at 7:12 a.m.
Miss Shoulda chimed in immediately. She had a list. She always has a list.
“You should get dressed.” “You should be more organized today.” “You should really use your time better.”
She says “should” the way people say “bless your heart.”
And then Mrs. Coulda… sweet, quiet Mrs. Coulda.
She waits.
She lets the day unfold just enough… and then she leans in.
“You coulda said that differently.” “You coulda handled that better.” “You coulda tried harder.”
No drama. No raised voice.
Just a gentle little tap on the shoulder that somehow feels like a verdict.
Now here’s the part that will make you laugh.
For years, I thought these people were me.
I thought this was my inner wisdom. My conscience. My higher self.
No.
This is a full-blown committee that moved in sometime around 1973 and never left.
And they brought luggage.
They were trained well. Passed down. Polished up. Made respectable.
Because somewhere along the line, women were taught that if we weren’t constantly reviewing, correcting, improving, and managing ourselves… something would go terribly wrong.
So we kept them.
We fed them.
We gave them front row seats to every single day.
Until one morning… I didn’t.
I sat down. Closed my eyes. And instead of answering them…
I just breathed.
In… Hold… Out…
Again. And again.
And something very strange happened.
They got… quieter.
Not offended. Not dramatic.
Just… unable to get a word in.
Because it turns out, they don’t survive very well in silence.
Now when I wake up, I don’t immediately hear:
“What should I be doing?” “What could I improve?” “What would I have done differently?”
I hear something else. Something a whole lot simpler.
“What do I feel like today?”
And from there… I make my coffee. I sit a little longer. I let my body wake up before my mind starts issuing orders.
No performance review. No checklist. No committee meeting at sunrise.
It’s a much better way to live.
So if you wake up tomorrow and find three people already sitting in your kitchen — and you will — you have a choice.
You can serve them coffee, take notes, and follow instructions.
Or you can politely show them the door.
Then sit down. Get quiet. Let your body wake up before your mind starts issuing orders.
Because here’s what I’ve learned the hard way:
They were handed down. Passed along like a family heirloom nobody ever thought to question. Those voices were never yours to begin with.
And in the quiet — when they finally stop talking — something else shows up.
Clarity. Curiosity. A sense of what do “I get” to do today.
Your voice has been there the whole time.
They’ve just been talking over it.
Here’s the thing about Mr. Woulda, Miss Shoulda, and Mrs. Coulda.
They hate it when you invest in yourself.
Mr. Woulda will say you woulda done it sooner if you were serious. Miss Shoulda will say you should probably think about it a little longer. And Mrs. Coulda will whisper that you coulda spent that money on something more practical.
Ignore all three of them.
Become a paid subscriber today — and I’ll send you BREAKTHROUGH instantly. No committee approval required.
Join us. Get BREAKTHROUGH free. And you’ll automatically receive an invitation to our weekly BREAKTHROUGH Zoom group — where we meet every Tuesday at [TIME] to do exactly what Mr. Woulda, Miss Shoulda, and Mrs. Coulda never wanted you to do.
Show up for yourself.
Love every aspect if it.
Monica, this wisdom is pure gold and so hard won! you just nailed it!