I have always liked my own company best. I think every full time writer does. Not many of us can operate in a setting where there is noise and distraction. Add to that: as much as I like people, I like them in small doses. Interacting with people every day before I retired was exhausting. I didn't realize how much until I didn't have to do it anymore. And now that I live alone I find even more comfort in having complete control over everything I live with. I love the way I've done my apartment and wake up every morning looking around to lovely calm instead of someone else's clutter. I love that everything is here because I put it here in a way that pleases me.
At the same time, I recognize that there are lonely people out there who are sad and need the comfort of other people. And often don't get it. My outlook on life can't overshadow theirs. They are hurting. I am not. I've written before about the joys of living alone but lately I've been thinking about those others and how it must feel to have that thrown at them. Do they feel like failures because they can't accept the comforts of solitude and instead see it as a prison? I don't want them to feel like that. If they're lonely it's acceptable to own it. And say it. Sometimes our positivity feels to them like judgement.
I don't know. I don't mean to throw cold water on anything here. I do agree with all of it, in fact, and will go on being happy with my life. I'll also be thinking about those others who don't fit into what we've accepted as the only way to live.
You are not throwing cold water - in fact you are helping me reach those who are at the heart of this. My entire premise for this Substack was to shed light on living in retirement different thant the generations before and sometimes that means I call out old and useless modes of acceptable norms. I often write about using this alone time to learn how to become fascinated again, to allow oneself to engage in curiosity. So now you are not throwing cold water, you brough into light the entire reason for my substack
There are no perfect lives and I don't mean to imply that every moment is a good one at my age. But I do think ageism is real and if we can shed light on those parts that work for us, we may actually be able to convince those who only see us as wrinkled has-beens that life can be vibrant, even for us.
And maybe they'll leave us alone long enough to live it.
I have always liked my own company best. I think every full time writer does. Not many of us can operate in a setting where there is noise and distraction. Add to that: as much as I like people, I like them in small doses. Interacting with people every day before I retired was exhausting. I didn't realize how much until I didn't have to do it anymore. And now that I live alone I find even more comfort in having complete control over everything I live with. I love the way I've done my apartment and wake up every morning looking around to lovely calm instead of someone else's clutter. I love that everything is here because I put it here in a way that pleases me.
At the same time, I recognize that there are lonely people out there who are sad and need the comfort of other people. And often don't get it. My outlook on life can't overshadow theirs. They are hurting. I am not. I've written before about the joys of living alone but lately I've been thinking about those others and how it must feel to have that thrown at them. Do they feel like failures because they can't accept the comforts of solitude and instead see it as a prison? I don't want them to feel like that. If they're lonely it's acceptable to own it. And say it. Sometimes our positivity feels to them like judgement.
I don't know. I don't mean to throw cold water on anything here. I do agree with all of it, in fact, and will go on being happy with my life. I'll also be thinking about those others who don't fit into what we've accepted as the only way to live.
You are not throwing cold water - in fact you are helping me reach those who are at the heart of this. My entire premise for this Substack was to shed light on living in retirement different thant the generations before and sometimes that means I call out old and useless modes of acceptable norms. I often write about using this alone time to learn how to become fascinated again, to allow oneself to engage in curiosity. So now you are not throwing cold water, you brough into light the entire reason for my substack
There are no perfect lives and I don't mean to imply that every moment is a good one at my age. But I do think ageism is real and if we can shed light on those parts that work for us, we may actually be able to convince those who only see us as wrinkled has-beens that life can be vibrant, even for us.
And maybe they'll leave us alone long enough to live it.
I'm over here shouting AMEN and AMEN!