As I read your piece it occurs to me that these are the mundane things in life that we tend to skim over. Like the dishwasher and sweeping the floor. They are home making and just for yourself - the autonomy is powerful all in itself. The ability to choose your chores. Do them at your own speed.They are gorgeous peaceful ways to pass the time. Oh - that time.
I felt a teensy bit envious - I am 66 and I don’t feel slowed down. I feel in the midst of a very busy period and look forward to a little quiet in a few months. My to do list is so long now that I have stopped writing because it is getting frankly daunting.
You are a wonderful writer. And your willingness to share indecision and not being able to find the fight is wonderful. I suspect you are busier than you let on! Your brain certainly is churning!
"The absence of urgency can feel a little like the absence of yourself" is the same wall founders hit the first quiet month after a launch or an exit. The nervous system doesn't know the difference between crisis and freedom yet, so it keeps waiting for the next fire.
I love all those questions or do I say your inner monologue, because often I think the most honest answer is simply “I don’t know” because age doesn’t magically take away that uncertainty.
What a gem this subject is. Though I am retired many years now I measure a day by evidence I have been here on earth. The lawn is mowed, the storm debris picked up, there's a ample home and garden maintenance to-do list. Life gave me a full stop recently after physical injuries required fixing. I long to return to my home and yard maintenance to-do list. Perhaps the difference is that this to-do list isn't so evody else's to-do list for me.
I think I too have expected something to arrive and pull me forward. That hasn’t happened. So I’m grateful you keep writing about the question that we get to ask ourselves… What do I really want to do. And it’s interesting, but I have to honestly say that half the time I don’t know the answer to that.
Molly, please take some time to sit with yourself and write an intention for this stage of your life. Not a goal. An intention about who you want to be and, even more importantly, how you want your life to feel.
It might be something as simple as, “Molly is a woman who takes great comfort in knowing her life is satisfying to her.” Or, “Molly is a woman who takes the road less traveled in order to discover what perks her up.”
And I mean that literally, too. Repetition can put us in a loop where we keep seeing the same things, thinking the same thoughts, having the same experiences. Take a different route to the grocery store. Drive home another way. Go somewhere you normally wouldn’t go. And pay attention. What catches your eye? What makes you smile? What makes you curious? Jot those things down.
Those little moments become breadcrumbs.
I believe purpose follows intent. Until we have some sense of who we intend to be, what we want from our lives, and especially how we want to feel while living them, purpose has nowhere to land.
You don’t have to know the whole answer yet. But you can begin leaving yourself clues.
Tomorrow I am going to provide a two page worksheet for all pay subscribers embedded in the article around this topic in which I will dive deeper into the process. Stay tuned.
As I read your piece it occurs to me that these are the mundane things in life that we tend to skim over. Like the dishwasher and sweeping the floor. They are home making and just for yourself - the autonomy is powerful all in itself. The ability to choose your chores. Do them at your own speed.They are gorgeous peaceful ways to pass the time. Oh - that time.
I felt a teensy bit envious - I am 66 and I don’t feel slowed down. I feel in the midst of a very busy period and look forward to a little quiet in a few months. My to do list is so long now that I have stopped writing because it is getting frankly daunting.
You are a wonderful writer. And your willingness to share indecision and not being able to find the fight is wonderful. I suspect you are busier than you let on! Your brain certainly is churning!
Many are experiencing this. Thanks for articulating it! 🙏
"The absence of urgency can feel a little like the absence of yourself" is the same wall founders hit the first quiet month after a launch or an exit. The nervous system doesn't know the difference between crisis and freedom yet, so it keeps waiting for the next fire.
I love all those questions or do I say your inner monologue, because often I think the most honest answer is simply “I don’t know” because age doesn’t magically take away that uncertainty.
What a gem this subject is. Though I am retired many years now I measure a day by evidence I have been here on earth. The lawn is mowed, the storm debris picked up, there's a ample home and garden maintenance to-do list. Life gave me a full stop recently after physical injuries required fixing. I long to return to my home and yard maintenance to-do list. Perhaps the difference is that this to-do list isn't so evody else's to-do list for me.
I think I too have expected something to arrive and pull me forward. That hasn’t happened. So I’m grateful you keep writing about the question that we get to ask ourselves… What do I really want to do. And it’s interesting, but I have to honestly say that half the time I don’t know the answer to that.
Molly, please take some time to sit with yourself and write an intention for this stage of your life. Not a goal. An intention about who you want to be and, even more importantly, how you want your life to feel.
It might be something as simple as, “Molly is a woman who takes great comfort in knowing her life is satisfying to her.” Or, “Molly is a woman who takes the road less traveled in order to discover what perks her up.”
And I mean that literally, too. Repetition can put us in a loop where we keep seeing the same things, thinking the same thoughts, having the same experiences. Take a different route to the grocery store. Drive home another way. Go somewhere you normally wouldn’t go. And pay attention. What catches your eye? What makes you smile? What makes you curious? Jot those things down.
Those little moments become breadcrumbs.
I believe purpose follows intent. Until we have some sense of who we intend to be, what we want from our lives, and especially how we want to feel while living them, purpose has nowhere to land.
You don’t have to know the whole answer yet. But you can begin leaving yourself clues.
Great advice! I will
Do that and keep notes of feelings.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Tomorrow I am going to provide a two page worksheet for all pay subscribers embedded in the article around this topic in which I will dive deeper into the process. Stay tuned.
💯 on 🎯!!
Maybe the quiet isn’t a problem to solve. Maybe we’ve just been taught that a life only counts when someone needs something from us.
If you live alone you have the right to choose but how do you make those choices if you live with someone who does not think the way you do?