This is powerful because it refuses the usual moral framing.
It does not shame comfort or stability. It names the quiet cost of staying small inside something that technically works. That distinction matters. The image of decorating the cage is real , because it is familiar and uncomfortable in the right way. And the ending is not about rebellion or escape, it is about presence. Choosing real over fine is not drama. It is self recognition.
Thank you Mônica! Your post made me look at how much I have lived my life at the 'good enough' mode. And I will be 70 in a month! Enough of good enough or fine, or just fine!
It's like you write my life... I've been struggling with my personal expectations for so long it's laughable, or cryable. It is so ingrained in me that I am difficult and like you've said to me before, that what it is—conditioning to keep me falling in line and being a sheeple.
I literally just wrote a very carefully worded 'No, I will not do that myself, it was promised to me that your company would' email because while I want to stand firm in what I was told, I also have to work with these people for as long as I'm signed up to their site. It takes up far too much energy and brainpower.
I remember the days of Sex and The City, when Charlotte was converting to Judaism so that she could marry Evan. She went to his office door and told him she wanted to convert. He said no, and closed the door on her face. She went back... the same thing... On the third time she insisted and he invited her in. So, I just did my third time speech and put it back onto them.
So, that's what I need help with the most... I would loved to have seen your transformation as a fly on the wall, because it feels so similar and you look like you feel very comfortable in your skin. Mine still feels way too tight in some places, while feeling far too loose in others... ♥️
Oh my friend, you nailed it—tight in some places, loose in others. That’s exactly how this soul-skin thing feels when we’re halfway between old wiring and new embodiment. It’s itchy. It’s awkward. It doesn’t sit right yet. But it’s coming.
And listen, the fact that you stood your ground in that email—without torching the bridge—is massive. That’s advanced level. That’s refusing to shrink or explode. That’s you saying: I matter. My word matters. And I’m not swallowing another lie just to make things easier for someone else.
That’s the work. That’s the transformation.
And for what it’s worth, if you had been a fly on the wall during mine, you’d have seen a lot of pacing, crying, rage-dusting, deep sighing, and very dramatic internal monologues while folding laundry. Nobody handed me ease. I clawed my way to it.
So if your skin feels weird right now? That’s good. That means it’s growing. Keep going. You’re not falling apart. You’re falling out—of expectations, people-pleasing, and all the shit that kept you “fine.”
My moment of break came through just before I read your essay this morning!
I had joined an early morning webinar promoting a new embodied writing programme: because I live on other end of time - Australia 😂; everything happens in the late night early morning schedule so it's a challenge. However, often we can access a recorded session later to view.
Anyhow I digress! I was really looking forward to catching up with this writer, I had been following her work and heard previous interviews etc, and was ready to adapt my life to allow joining her class over next few months. THEN IT HIT ME: Yes, the promo blurd. The price was at the Top End, but plenty of options including multiple payments and a generous refund if its not what you expected yada yadda yadda OK I'm still hooked in...then the additional- all sessions are recorded and of course, to accommodate those people who are in different time zones or can't attend live everything is included ... apart from any live engagement or options for q&a, ... and it's there for life.... but it's all still the same price.
WOW, what just snapped...Me and my bubble. How is buying a recording the same as attending the live event? Since when is a copy the same value as an original work? Why bother going to a live concert if the CD is just as good?
I am sick of being offered supposed amazing priveledges, bulk sale of recorded lessons is not the same as limited intimate face to face classes. How did we end up with the free for all blurring of engagement so that recorded lessons, possibly AI generated with some non human presenter will soon be so normative we won't know any different.
Give me a home cooked Cray (lobster) any time. No copy or print will ever impart the same energy as an original.
Yes, I'm grumpy and I am sick of watching how quickly our souls are being commodities
While I do use AI to EDIT my essays, I do not use them to CREATE the essay. So to that extinct we are in agreement. Maybe it's my age, but I find 99% of the pitches in the self help-self improvement community to be bland, no soul. And myabe women over 60 are not their target market. And maybe I am just honery enough to know better than to give over my soul's intention to some bright sparkly recording. I dunno. Maybe it's just me. ( But I suspect I am not alone- and you are not alone either)
I am a subscriber page subscriber, but I’ve not received the breakthrough guide and I’m very interested. Thank you and would you kindly send that to me?
No, nothing there either and my second comment about still not having it didn’t go through either. I’m unsure what the problem is. Can you directly email it to me at neverne@mac.com
I keep getting your comment didn’t go through and I didn’t get the program you offered either. This probably won’t go through either for whatever reasons.
This is powerful because it refuses the usual moral framing.
It does not shame comfort or stability. It names the quiet cost of staying small inside something that technically works. That distinction matters. The image of decorating the cage is real , because it is familiar and uncomfortable in the right way. And the ending is not about rebellion or escape, it is about presence. Choosing real over fine is not drama. It is self recognition.
Thank you Mônica! Your post made me look at how much I have lived my life at the 'good enough' mode. And I will be 70 in a month! Enough of good enough or fine, or just fine!
It's like you write my life... I've been struggling with my personal expectations for so long it's laughable, or cryable. It is so ingrained in me that I am difficult and like you've said to me before, that what it is—conditioning to keep me falling in line and being a sheeple.
I literally just wrote a very carefully worded 'No, I will not do that myself, it was promised to me that your company would' email because while I want to stand firm in what I was told, I also have to work with these people for as long as I'm signed up to their site. It takes up far too much energy and brainpower.
I remember the days of Sex and The City, when Charlotte was converting to Judaism so that she could marry Evan. She went to his office door and told him she wanted to convert. He said no, and closed the door on her face. She went back... the same thing... On the third time she insisted and he invited her in. So, I just did my third time speech and put it back onto them.
So, that's what I need help with the most... I would loved to have seen your transformation as a fly on the wall, because it feels so similar and you look like you feel very comfortable in your skin. Mine still feels way too tight in some places, while feeling far too loose in others... ♥️
Oh my friend, you nailed it—tight in some places, loose in others. That’s exactly how this soul-skin thing feels when we’re halfway between old wiring and new embodiment. It’s itchy. It’s awkward. It doesn’t sit right yet. But it’s coming.
And listen, the fact that you stood your ground in that email—without torching the bridge—is massive. That’s advanced level. That’s refusing to shrink or explode. That’s you saying: I matter. My word matters. And I’m not swallowing another lie just to make things easier for someone else.
That’s the work. That’s the transformation.
And for what it’s worth, if you had been a fly on the wall during mine, you’d have seen a lot of pacing, crying, rage-dusting, deep sighing, and very dramatic internal monologues while folding laundry. Nobody handed me ease. I clawed my way to it.
So if your skin feels weird right now? That’s good. That means it’s growing. Keep going. You’re not falling apart. You’re falling out—of expectations, people-pleasing, and all the shit that kept you “fine.”
You're doing beautifully. Truly. ♥️
Thank you, may you always be ahead of me so I have a mentor to show me how it’s done! 😉
Moments of breakthrough 🦅🎉🦋❤️🔥 Not always what we might have chosen, dreamed of; but priceless, a doorway to the next season 🌞
My moment of break came through just before I read your essay this morning!
I had joined an early morning webinar promoting a new embodied writing programme: because I live on other end of time - Australia 😂; everything happens in the late night early morning schedule so it's a challenge. However, often we can access a recorded session later to view.
Anyhow I digress! I was really looking forward to catching up with this writer, I had been following her work and heard previous interviews etc, and was ready to adapt my life to allow joining her class over next few months. THEN IT HIT ME: Yes, the promo blurd. The price was at the Top End, but plenty of options including multiple payments and a generous refund if its not what you expected yada yadda yadda OK I'm still hooked in...then the additional- all sessions are recorded and of course, to accommodate those people who are in different time zones or can't attend live everything is included ... apart from any live engagement or options for q&a, ... and it's there for life.... but it's all still the same price.
WOW, what just snapped...Me and my bubble. How is buying a recording the same as attending the live event? Since when is a copy the same value as an original work? Why bother going to a live concert if the CD is just as good?
I am sick of being offered supposed amazing priveledges, bulk sale of recorded lessons is not the same as limited intimate face to face classes. How did we end up with the free for all blurring of engagement so that recorded lessons, possibly AI generated with some non human presenter will soon be so normative we won't know any different.
Give me a home cooked Cray (lobster) any time. No copy or print will ever impart the same energy as an original.
Yes, I'm grumpy and I am sick of watching how quickly our souls are being commodities
While I do use AI to EDIT my essays, I do not use them to CREATE the essay. So to that extinct we are in agreement. Maybe it's my age, but I find 99% of the pitches in the self help-self improvement community to be bland, no soul. And myabe women over 60 are not their target market. And maybe I am just honery enough to know better than to give over my soul's intention to some bright sparkly recording. I dunno. Maybe it's just me. ( But I suspect I am not alone- and you are not alone either)
I am a subscriber page subscriber, but I’ve not received the breakthrough guide and I’m very interested. Thank you and would you kindly send that to me?
sent via email
I have still not received it if you sent it. Neverne@mac.com
I’m not at my desk. Maybe double check your spam or junk folder. I sent it 6 hrs ago. Let me know if it didn’t arrive. I’ll resend tomorrow
No, nothing there either and my second comment about still not having it didn’t go through either. I’m unsure what the problem is. Can you directly email it to me at neverne@mac.com
No where to be seen
I keep getting your comment didn’t go through and I didn’t get the program you offered either. This probably won’t go through either for whatever reasons.