Wow, Monica! You really nailed it for me on this one! I’ll be thinking about this post and rereading it several times during the next few days. Thank you!
I had a similar reaction, Jen…that the guidance in this post is important for men and women and for ages other than post-retirement. Fantastic advice for anyone floundering in life for any reason.
Bravo, Monica. This is one of the most profound and important articles I’ve read all year, but it could be equally profound for anyone—male or female—at any age—who is floundering or feeling untethered. Our Western society has separated us from our feelings, our instincts, and even our curiosity by inundating us with advice and convincing us that happiness is “out there somewhere.” We’re taught to value the destination—something that’s usually out of reach or in the future—instead of savoring the journey. This is an article to be saved and re-read from time to time, because it has levels of wisdom and meaning that will reveal themselves differently at different times.
I’m a retired librarian and have always been someone who loves research. And now I am very lucky to be able to research anything I want and as much as I want. The internet is made for someone like me. I love art museums and now I can visit them virtually or study a particular artist without having to leave my couch. That’s just an example. Other interests are history of fashion, vintage American recipes, old movies, really anything that crosses my mind. I’ve always said that I have a broad but shallow body of knowledge, and retirement gives me the time to add to that. I have no expectations of a result, just to add to what I already know. Sometimes I feel a little guilty that I’m not working towards a goal, but I’ve decided that there doesn’t need to be one.
I also read almost constantly which is something I did as a kid. It’s wonderful. I bought myself a card on Etsy that says: “Sometimes I tell myself to stop reading and get things done. Then I laugh and turn the page.” I keep it near to help remind myself not to feel like I should be doing something “productive”.
I think the hardest part of being able to enjoy my life is letting go of expectations, my own and others. It’s not easy, and it’s taken a few years to get to this point. After all I have had a whole lifetime of a being a responsible good girl. Now it’s my turn!
I loved recognizing myself as a raccoon paying property taxes! :)) Also, yes, seeing what works is a great way to get more of that in my life—will apply that! Thank you!
Sometimes what we call being “stuck” is really a season of figuring out what comes next. We are so accustomed to measuring progress by how quickly we move that standing still can feel like failure.
But maybe we are changing direction, questioning old expectations, or finally listening to ourselves. Growth does not always arrive with fireworks and a marching band. Sometimes it quietly shows up as curiosity.
I think the important thing is not to decide that our best years, dreams, or possibilities have an expiration date. There is always another chapter available. We may just have to be brave enough to start writing it. ❤️
Wow, Monica! You really nailed it for me on this one! I’ll be thinking about this post and rereading it several times during the next few days. Thank you!
I heard this > when I was a teenager and still pretty much “follow” it: “Just do the next thing.”
And I find that the next thing is always new, and neverending.
I really feel my husband could use this advice too.
I had a similar reaction, Jen…that the guidance in this post is important for men and women and for ages other than post-retirement. Fantastic advice for anyone floundering in life for any reason.
Slapped forehead with palm. 😮
Thank you once again.
I’m going to read this article to my husband. It’s totally applies to him.
Bravo, Monica. This is one of the most profound and important articles I’ve read all year, but it could be equally profound for anyone—male or female—at any age—who is floundering or feeling untethered. Our Western society has separated us from our feelings, our instincts, and even our curiosity by inundating us with advice and convincing us that happiness is “out there somewhere.” We’re taught to value the destination—something that’s usually out of reach or in the future—instead of savoring the journey. This is an article to be saved and re-read from time to time, because it has levels of wisdom and meaning that will reveal themselves differently at different times.
My goodness. Thank you. I admit there was wrestling match between my ideas and what would actually covey the information so that it would be useful.
Oh, I am well familiar with that wrestling match! ;-)
Oh, I am well familiar with that wrestling match! ;-)But you nailed it this time.
WOW! I knew about the red car experiment, but the swapped person.... ??? Mind blown!
I am somewhat face blind. I’m sure this happens to me frequently.
I’m a retired librarian and have always been someone who loves research. And now I am very lucky to be able to research anything I want and as much as I want. The internet is made for someone like me. I love art museums and now I can visit them virtually or study a particular artist without having to leave my couch. That’s just an example. Other interests are history of fashion, vintage American recipes, old movies, really anything that crosses my mind. I’ve always said that I have a broad but shallow body of knowledge, and retirement gives me the time to add to that. I have no expectations of a result, just to add to what I already know. Sometimes I feel a little guilty that I’m not working towards a goal, but I’ve decided that there doesn’t need to be one.
I also read almost constantly which is something I did as a kid. It’s wonderful. I bought myself a card on Etsy that says: “Sometimes I tell myself to stop reading and get things done. Then I laugh and turn the page.” I keep it near to help remind myself not to feel like I should be doing something “productive”.
I think the hardest part of being able to enjoy my life is letting go of expectations, my own and others. It’s not easy, and it’s taken a few years to get to this point. After all I have had a whole lifetime of a being a responsible good girl. Now it’s my turn!
I loved recognizing myself as a raccoon paying property taxes! :)) Also, yes, seeing what works is a great way to get more of that in my life—will apply that! Thank you!
Sometimes what we call being “stuck” is really a season of figuring out what comes next. We are so accustomed to measuring progress by how quickly we move that standing still can feel like failure.
But maybe we are changing direction, questioning old expectations, or finally listening to ourselves. Growth does not always arrive with fireworks and a marching band. Sometimes it quietly shows up as curiosity.
I think the important thing is not to decide that our best years, dreams, or possibilities have an expiration date. There is always another chapter available. We may just have to be brave enough to start writing it. ❤️