When the Mirror Looks Like Your Mother
You are allowed to reclaim your reflection.
She looked in the mirror and saw her mother’s hair on her own head—and felt a shock of grief and resistance.
Not because her mother had passed. But because her mother was never kind.
So she cut her hair. Changed her style. Avoided mirrors. And when others told her she looked just like the woman who raised her, it stung. Because her mother wasn’t someone she wanted to be associated with.
If you’ve felt this too, I want you to know: you’re not shallow. You’re not petty. You’re trying to protect yourself from being re-traumatized by resemblance.
But here’s the truth you might not have heard yet:
You are allowed to reclaim your reflection.
You can decide what stays and what goes.
You can choose which inherited traits you soften, and which ones you celebrate.
You can redefine what you see—because your face is not a threat. It’s a canvas. And it’s yours now.
So here are three gentle ways to start:
Wear something she never would. A color. A neckline. A lipstick. Claim it as yours.
Say something she never said to you—and say it to yourself. Out loud. Often.
Create a new ritual around your mirror. Not to judge, but to witness. To greet the woman who is becoming, not the one who came before.
This is the work of reclamation. And it’s exactly what the BREAKTHROUGH guide was made for.
Not because you need to be fixed. But because you deserve to feel free.
Read the full guide here →BREAKTHROUGH
Because your story’s not over.
And the woman in the mirror is ready to be seen—by you.
This was an interesting post, Monica. I'm one of those that welcomes every reminder of my mother when I look into a mirror, or reach for something and see her hands. But I think your post would help those who are unlike me. Thank you for thinking of others you can help! Well done!
Wonderful.