Who might you become if you finally set down all the “shoulds” and wore only what feels like you?
Remember yesterday, when we talked about the difference between identification and identity?
Today, let’s go a little deeper — and more importantly, let’s get practical.
Because here’s the truth: we don’t move from “roles” to “real self” with one big leap. We shift in little steps. Tiny cracks in the old shell where the light sneaks in.
Here are three ways to start peeling back the labels:
🌱 Notice the script.
Every time you catch yourself thinking “I should…” — pause.
“I should keep the house spotless.”
“I should say yes because they need me.”
“I should dress age-appropriately.”
That’s not you talking. That’s identification — the old labels trying to run your life. Just noticing it is step one.
And here’s the thing: this takes self-observation, and sometimes it feels awkward. That’s okay. Awkward doesn’t mean wrong — it just means different.
When I first started peeling back my own labels, it felt a little like being a rebellious teenager again. So I leaned into it. I even said it out loud (just to myself): “Nope, not doing that.” And let me tell you, that felt delicious.
But here’s the truth: it takes repetition. Often. We’re talking about shaking off 60+ years of conditioning here. So give yourself grace. Take it one pause, one whisper, one step at a time.
🔥 Ask the better question.
Instead of, “What do they need from me?” try asking:
“What do I want right now?”
It might feel awkward at first (because no one ever taught us this!). But this is exactly how you begin rewiring your brain toward identity.
And let me tell you — this one was my biggest challenge. If they gave out trophies for world-class people-pleasing, my shelf would be full. Saying “no” when everyone expects “yes” takes practice.
So don’t start with the big stuff. Start small. A tiny request here, a little obligation there. Practice by quietly checking in with yourself throughout the day:
“What do I want, now?”
No need for a megaphone. You don’t have to announce it or justify it. This question is for you — and only you.
💃 Do one thing today — and every day — that feels like you.
Not useful-you. Not performing-you. Not “good girl” you.
Just you.
Maybe that’s blasting Aretha and dancing in the kitchen. Maybe it’s sketching, napping, or saying “nope” to something that drains you. Maybe it’s finally digging into your family tree, taking a walk in a new direction, or simply sitting with yourself. (Yes, that one can feel awkward at first — but over time, it pays the biggest dividends.)
Do that one thing. Then notice how your soul exhales.
Did you ever imagine that simply taking time to think about yourself could be meaningful, even life-changing? That it could be the very beginning of your own journey back to you?
I’d love to hear how it’s going for you. Just click the message button below and share. I promise I’ll respond with complete respect (and a little cheerleading) as you dare to make these small but powerful shifts.
And stay tuned… because tomorrow we kick off a brand-new series inspired by the bold, hilarious, and downright unstoppable women of The Golden Girls. 🥂 Think wisdom with shoulder pads, sass with cheesecake, and life lessons served with a wink. Trust me — you don’t want to miss this.
Ready to stop drifting and start thriving?
My Instruction Manuals for Women Over 60 are simple, practical, and designed to meet you exactly where you are. No fluff, no lectures — just clear steps you can use today for more clarity, more energy, and more joy in this season of life.
Instruction manuals for women over 60—designed for immediate implementation, daily clarity, and lasting change.
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