Women over 60:Do You Know What You Want?
Or Just What You’re Allowed to Want?
The Motorcycle and the Memory
Two days ago, I found myself looking at little step-through motorcycles online. Not for anyone else. Not for utility. Not because I needed one. Just because it stirred something ancient and true in me.
And I realized: this isn't random.
This comes from a memory I've carried quietly for decades.
50 or so years I was folding laundry in the living room of the home I shared with my children’s father, watching a movie—Ann-Margret was in it. I can’t recall the whole plot, but the last scene is burned into me:
She was leaving.
On her own.
Riding a motorcycle into the sunset with a look on her face that said freedom, peace, and something deeper—I did this. I chose this. No one told me to. No one had to approve.
She was doing what women didn’t do at the time.
And I remember thinking, I could never have that.
Not in the life I was in.
I was too young, too silenced, too obligated.
Nobody asked me if I wanted any of the roles I was in.
I just played them. Because that’s what good women did.
But now? I’m days away from turning 70.
And you know what I might do for my birthday?
I might buy myself that little motorcycle.
I may not keep it for more than 30 days.
Or I may keep it forever.
But the idea that I can even do it? That I can want something, claim it, explore it—not explain it—feels like the truest kind of YES I’ve ever known.
We live most of our lives answering to rules we never actually agreed to.
Rules about what’s reasonable.
What’s respectable.
What’s appropriate for a woman your age.
But I want to ask you something today—and I mean it for real:
Do you even know what you want?
Or do you only know what you were allowed to want?
I don’t mean the polite list.
Not the Pinterest board or the gratitude journal.
I mean the thing that makes your chest ache when you see someone else have it.
The thing you imagine in flashes when you're driving or falling asleep.
The thing you've never said out loud because you were raised to be “reasonable” and “grateful” and “quiet.”
You know what I’m talking about.
And if you don’t?
That’s not your fault.
You’ve just been trained out of your own desire.
⚠️ Trained Out of Desire
Most women over 60 were conditioned not to ask what do I want?
We were taught to ask:
What’s the right thing to do?
What’s expected of me?
What keeps the peace?
What would make me a good mom, wife, daughter, citizen, church member, volunteer, friend?
And we got very good at fulfilling those roles.
So good, in fact, that when someone asks us, “But what do YOU want?”—we freeze.
We’re not sure if it’s a trick question.
💥 Here's the truth bomb:
Your life has room for the thing you actually want.
But you’ll never find it if you're only shopping from the shelf marked “approved dreams.”
You’ve got to walk to the back of the store.
To the dusty aisle labeled “Too much.”
Or maybe even the forbidden section marked “Selfish.”
Because that’s where the juicy stuff is.
🪞 You Are Allowed to Want What You Want
Even if it’s not “practical.”
Even if you can’t explain it.
Even if no one else understands.
You’re not here to manage everyone else’s comfort.
You’re here to reclaim your own clarity, creativity, and courage.
Ready to Reclaim That Wanting?
I made something for women exactly like us.
It’s part soul-mirror, part permission slip.
✨ It’s called “Rebuild, Reclaim, Reinvent.”
What you’ll get:
1.) Five simple practices to help you come back to yourself, even in a busy life.
2.) A clarity tool to help you name what’s still alive in you—and what’s ready to go.
3.) Five Things NOT to Do Right Now
Or browse the full collection if your soul’s whispering something different today:
🛒 See all my soulful PDFs here: Monica’s Library
❤️ Before You Go…
If this email stirred something, hit reply and tell me what it was.
What dream snuck into your chest when you read this?
I read every single note.
We are not too old.
We are not too late.
We are not finished.
Let’s go get what we actually want.
With love and fire,
Monica
PS: I am excited about our upcoming Sunday Night Zoom Call. We are going to begin with the first module of REFOUNDATION. Become a paid subscriber today, I’ll be sure to send you the zoom link!