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Nadya Lawson's avatar

THIS. I had a shimmering of this insight just this week and your words brought it into full, beautiful realization. For most of my adult life I've wanted to be self-contained, keep my own counsel, etc. At 58 years old, I am very much looking forward to being in the world in a more contained and grounded way.

Holly Blakeslee's avatar

"...But what I see now is that it wasn’t drama.

It was dysregulation.

When your nervous system is constantly braced, information becomes currency. You move it fast. You broadcast it. You turn it into something that proves you are relevant, involved, needed, affected.

You don’t even know you’re doing it.

This morning, I didn’t do it.

The impulse rose. I watched it. And it dissolved."

~ Thank you! This was helpful, and it is the place I am finally finding myself arriving at too...and how many of my reactions and responses over the years were trauma-based.

Ceri's avatar

This is so insightful. Thank you. Its so helpful to frame this in terms of trying to regulate the nervous system.

Mary Fitzgerald's avatar

This is SPOT on!!

I recognized myself.

Now I understand. ❤️

Tina Brown-Eckart's avatar

“The impulse arose. I watched it. And it dissolved.”

And that’s the height of self management leading to positive mental health behavior. This is something I still need to work on. I can be impulsive in my reactions to a loved one’s behavior. The key is inserting the “watching” of our behavior as you did here, Monica. Practicing watching our behavior is an important life skill. ♥️

Spreading Joy-Danielle Woerner's avatar

Very insightful, and helpful in the Self-Forgiveness Dept. Thank you, Monica.