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Holly Blakeslee's avatar

"...But what I see now is that it wasn’t drama.

It was dysregulation.

When your nervous system is constantly braced, information becomes currency. You move it fast. You broadcast it. You turn it into something that proves you are relevant, involved, needed, affected.

You don’t even know you’re doing it.

This morning, I didn’t do it.

The impulse rose. I watched it. And it dissolved."

~ Thank you! This was helpful, and it is the place I am finally finding myself arriving at too...and how many of my reactions and responses over the years were trauma-based.

Caitch45's avatar

Just wondered if we (I) are trauma based, without considering why this is?

Monica Hebert's avatar

I WAS trauma based. When I stopped feeding the egos need to blame others who created the trauma and begin nurturing my relationship with my soul is when everything in my life changed.

Holly Blakeslee's avatar

imo it has much, if not all, to do with patriarchy. consumerism and avarice. also the idea that each person somehow succeeds all on their own, independently, when that is not the case. it really is a village/takes a village. i recommend ‘Outliers’ by Malcolm Gladwell.

Monica Hebert's avatar

I’m keeping the focus here on the inner work, because that’s the only place we actually have power

Ceri's avatar

This is so insightful. Thank you. Its so helpful to frame this in terms of trying to regulate the nervous system.

Nadya Lawson's avatar

THIS. I had a shimmering of this insight just this week and your words brought it into full, beautiful realization. For most of my adult life I've wanted to be self-contained, keep my own counsel, etc. At 58 years old, I am very much looking forward to being in the world in a more contained and grounded way.

Tina Brown-Eckart's avatar

“The impulse arose. I watched it. And it dissolved.”

And that’s the height of self management leading to positive mental health behavior. This is something I still need to work on. I can be impulsive in my reactions to a loved one’s behavior. The key is inserting the “watching” of our behavior as you did here, Monica. Practicing watching our behavior is an important life skill. ♥️

Mary Fitzgerald's avatar

This is SPOT on!!

I recognized myself.

Now I understand. ❤️

Jean's avatar

Thank you for giving words for this feeling. I haven’t thought of myself as a “drama queen” but have had the need to tell someone about the latest development. Saying the words out loud to another dperson can alleviate some of my anxiety. This explains the “why” of my behavior. I’m trying to regulate my nervous system. I long for the day I can let the feeling dissolve.

Spreading Joy-Danielle Woerner's avatar

Very insightful, and helpful in the Self-Forgiveness Dept. Thank you, Monica.

Caitch45's avatar

Really good helpful thoughts in this piece today. Yes ma,am. Thank you for putting it so lucidly.