Thank you for your post — yes, the twenty-three year old wife, me too.
What a life I led at that age being the backup and supporter of my husband following “His Dream” for four years of schooling, etc. I definitely bought into a role that has defined a big part of my life … long story, but with many, many defining moments of being the backstory in our family.
I did keep worlds of myself alive within … well now, they’re emerging as I let go of many patterns. Your writing and that of others fuels me. Thanks to all!! 🧡
“Because I was consuming everyone else’s answers to a question only I could answer for myself.”
“… in that particular quiet — the kind that only arrives when you’ve stopped filling the silence with other people’s wisdom — I finally heard something I hadn’t in years. My own voice.“ 💡
I hope that my own voice is one that “I” come to enjoy … value … treasure … and never abandon.
My mother was a 50's mom. Social, perfect house, good manners and obedient. She called them "social graces" and she tried so hard to imprint them on me. Turns out she had a wild filly of a daughter raised in the 60's in the Bay Area of California. I never could fit in. Married a guy just like that the second time around and spent the next 30 years depressed by my lack of agency since I stayed home and raised kids. I did start an art organization, became a clay artist, and created a beautiful garden that was in magazines and on tours. But still felt stifled by expectations of who I was expected to be and how to behave. Then 2 things happened that changed everything. Got an inheritance and shortly after I started to get my own personal agency and started making choices for myself, so he left. Guess he didn't want a woman who created her own life and no longer depended on him. I no longer just wanted to follow what he wanted. End of marriage.
Wow… you knew who you were all along, didn’t you? That wild filly never left. And the moment you finally chose yourself… everything shifted. That’s not failure—that’s freedom.
Yes indeed! Very much in line with where I find myself today. I was just writing this morning in my own Substack, Spreading Joy, about the self-respect, and genuine pride, that comes with completing with and sharing work that has been a touchstone. An aspect of sharing our authentic voices, which is the thing I’ve discovered I am all about, after reading lots of self-help books too.
Women's stories of awakening and transformation - of coming home to oneself, and yours, Monica, is a powerful one. After reading this, I went on a trip down memory lane. I feel like an onion that has gone through years of peeling away the layers. Been to hell several times and back and I'm grateful for the hard-won lessons that woke me up. I'm proud to be a woman and I'm excited that so many of us are reclaiming ourselves.
Thank you Monica for offering a space for all of us.
Thank you for your post — yes, the twenty-three year old wife, me too.
What a life I led at that age being the backup and supporter of my husband following “His Dream” for four years of schooling, etc. I definitely bought into a role that has defined a big part of my life … long story, but with many, many defining moments of being the backstory in our family.
I did keep worlds of myself alive within … well now, they’re emerging as I let go of many patterns. Your writing and that of others fuels me. Thanks to all!! 🧡
Freeing insights for me …
“Because I was consuming everyone else’s answers to a question only I could answer for myself.”
“… in that particular quiet — the kind that only arrives when you’ve stopped filling the silence with other people’s wisdom — I finally heard something I hadn’t in years. My own voice.“ 💡
I hope that my own voice is one that “I” come to enjoy … value … treasure … and never abandon.
Thank you, Monica!
Beautifully expressed, MoniRose
My mother was a 50's mom. Social, perfect house, good manners and obedient. She called them "social graces" and she tried so hard to imprint them on me. Turns out she had a wild filly of a daughter raised in the 60's in the Bay Area of California. I never could fit in. Married a guy just like that the second time around and spent the next 30 years depressed by my lack of agency since I stayed home and raised kids. I did start an art organization, became a clay artist, and created a beautiful garden that was in magazines and on tours. But still felt stifled by expectations of who I was expected to be and how to behave. Then 2 things happened that changed everything. Got an inheritance and shortly after I started to get my own personal agency and started making choices for myself, so he left. Guess he didn't want a woman who created her own life and no longer depended on him. I no longer just wanted to follow what he wanted. End of marriage.
Wow… you knew who you were all along, didn’t you? That wild filly never left. And the moment you finally chose yourself… everything shifted. That’s not failure—that’s freedom.
Yes indeed! Very much in line with where I find myself today. I was just writing this morning in my own Substack, Spreading Joy, about the self-respect, and genuine pride, that comes with completing with and sharing work that has been a touchstone. An aspect of sharing our authentic voices, which is the thing I’ve discovered I am all about, after reading lots of self-help books too.
Beautifully said, as usual! Thank you for the salve of your experience and writing
Women's stories of awakening and transformation - of coming home to oneself, and yours, Monica, is a powerful one. After reading this, I went on a trip down memory lane. I feel like an onion that has gone through years of peeling away the layers. Been to hell several times and back and I'm grateful for the hard-won lessons that woke me up. I'm proud to be a woman and I'm excited that so many of us are reclaiming ourselves.
Thank you Monica for offering a space for all of us.