This is a wrenchingly raw and honest piece of healing you have shared and I am so grateful and awed by the strength and openness you demonstrate through the power of your words. For so many millennia women have covered their heads to protect themselves from the shame heaped on them by the forces of dominion. We live in dangerous days but these are the days of emergence of feminine power returning, breaking open, speaking truth to dominion and reclaiming our wisdom, life and generative strength. Thank you for openly claiming that for yourself and modeling the path for all of us. Raw honesty!
I have felt like a refugee in my own life so many ages and now at almost 75 I climb again to a place where I can stand tall (all four foot ten inches of me!😊) and keep moving upward and onward. Thank you for creating and sharing a space of power and leadership as we do not need to be alone in shame and guilt and suffering. It is women who will birth a new world and the old women who carry the sacred within them who wade in the deep waters of change who will lead.
Again and again you post a story that resonates with something I've been working out in my mind. Two times in the past week I noticed my reaction to a couple of instances. My thoughts were toxic. Thank goodness I picked up on it immediately. And the reactions were shame based. My dreams of late are nudging me to be seen and to be heard which is uncomfortable for me. The discomfort comes from needless shame! Your story is SO timely! And I hear you and feel the mourning for all the years wasted. But hey! It's never too late and we have more life to LIVE.
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel you and the pain and the rising up.
I know this shame in the very marrow of my bones. Not necessarily in the same context, but nonetheless it is insidious and affects every aspect of my life. I was not supposed to ‘be’ either.
My spirit has been forged in iron and is unbreakable, so I fought for my place in a family I never felt comfortable or belonged in. Not feeling wanted does things to a young girl that made her feisty and sometimes mean, when all she wanted was to be loved.
I don’t know if that feeling will ever go away, but, with found family (some even of my blood) and lots of exploring, writing, and painting, I am building a sense of belonging within myself.
And the thing I learned about shame is that it cannot survive the light of recognition when we finally catch on that it was not ‘me feeling wrong’, but that ‘I was meant to feel wrong’.
Monica…. this piece was so moving. Your vulnerability was palpable, and it brought tears to my eyes. My little girl wants to go grab your little girl and go scream and shout out in the street! Thank you for your work.
Thank you for this piece. It has given me a lot to think about as I come to the realization that my birth order in my family was placed onto me as my entire story thus forming me in ways it should not of.
😢 Monica, so saddened that you were violated at all and that the no-good seed of shame was planted and watered by the guilt-lie that restrained beautiful Rosie all these years. Human against human aggression at its ugliest.
So glad you survived and are evicting that shame while embracing the beautiful you that was, and is, and is to come!
Revelation quote: “I isolated because I didn’t trust myself to withstand being seen.” All you’ve come through is undeniable evidence of your determined withstanding AND overcoming that which could have taken you plumb out before the reemergence of you. Knowing and trusting self again is so very essential to our unfolding as the free beings we were created (and determined) to be.
Thank you for helping us all in this I Am and I Am becoming journey! ⛑️
{{{{{{💙Monica🩵}}}}}}. I haven’t yet read the other comments, but I do think there are so many more of us out here still carrying the shame of the abuser, and it certainly shouldn’t be that way but here we are. I’ve given up all shame for what was DONE TO me by adults when I was a child; all of it. It was the most freeing thing I’ve ever done in my life. In fact, I kind of thumb my nose at an every man who sees me online….gently. My lil icon is Gisele with “take back the shame”. I refuse to carry their disgusting behavior on my back. Man may be physically stronger, but emotionally…most men are simply scared lil children, brought up to make fun of mommy behind her back with daddy, become emotionally “men”….. anyway, I hug you, and I so hear you. We all do.
This is a wrenchingly raw and honest piece of healing you have shared and I am so grateful and awed by the strength and openness you demonstrate through the power of your words. For so many millennia women have covered their heads to protect themselves from the shame heaped on them by the forces of dominion. We live in dangerous days but these are the days of emergence of feminine power returning, breaking open, speaking truth to dominion and reclaiming our wisdom, life and generative strength. Thank you for openly claiming that for yourself and modeling the path for all of us. Raw honesty!
I have felt like a refugee in my own life so many ages and now at almost 75 I climb again to a place where I can stand tall (all four foot ten inches of me!😊) and keep moving upward and onward. Thank you for creating and sharing a space of power and leadership as we do not need to be alone in shame and guilt and suffering. It is women who will birth a new world and the old women who carry the sacred within them who wade in the deep waters of change who will lead.
Again and again you post a story that resonates with something I've been working out in my mind. Two times in the past week I noticed my reaction to a couple of instances. My thoughts were toxic. Thank goodness I picked up on it immediately. And the reactions were shame based. My dreams of late are nudging me to be seen and to be heard which is uncomfortable for me. The discomfort comes from needless shame! Your story is SO timely! And I hear you and feel the mourning for all the years wasted. But hey! It's never too late and we have more life to LIVE.
Monica, as you give gifts, we all receive them, and you receive them too. Powerful post, it describes my life, thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel you and the pain and the rising up.
I know this shame in the very marrow of my bones. Not necessarily in the same context, but nonetheless it is insidious and affects every aspect of my life. I was not supposed to ‘be’ either.
My spirit has been forged in iron and is unbreakable, so I fought for my place in a family I never felt comfortable or belonged in. Not feeling wanted does things to a young girl that made her feisty and sometimes mean, when all she wanted was to be loved.
I don’t know if that feeling will ever go away, but, with found family (some even of my blood) and lots of exploring, writing, and painting, I am building a sense of belonging within myself.
And the thing I learned about shame is that it cannot survive the light of recognition when we finally catch on that it was not ‘me feeling wrong’, but that ‘I was meant to feel wrong’.
Monica…. this piece was so moving. Your vulnerability was palpable, and it brought tears to my eyes. My little girl wants to go grab your little girl and go scream and shout out in the street! Thank you for your work.
There is nothing quite like liberating yourself. From shame especially. I’m so sorry that happened to you at 6, and so happy for you today.
Powerful words. I was one of those babies. I didn't have the 'uh-oh' attached, but I felt the inconvenience.
Tears are rolling. Becoming visible ain’t for sissies. I’m deeply grateful for my Soul Sisters on Tuesday nights.
Big hugs to each of you.
Thank you for this piece. It has given me a lot to think about as I come to the realization that my birth order in my family was placed onto me as my entire story thus forming me in ways it should not of.
You were meant to be here right here to help others. Bless that little girl and the good lady you are now.✝️
😢 Monica, so saddened that you were violated at all and that the no-good seed of shame was planted and watered by the guilt-lie that restrained beautiful Rosie all these years. Human against human aggression at its ugliest.
So glad you survived and are evicting that shame while embracing the beautiful you that was, and is, and is to come!
Revelation quote: “I isolated because I didn’t trust myself to withstand being seen.” All you’ve come through is undeniable evidence of your determined withstanding AND overcoming that which could have taken you plumb out before the reemergence of you. Knowing and trusting self again is so very essential to our unfolding as the free beings we were created (and determined) to be.
Thank you for helping us all in this I Am and I Am becoming journey! ⛑️
I only have to read the comments on this post to feel that I might have found a place.
{{{{{{💙Monica🩵}}}}}}. I haven’t yet read the other comments, but I do think there are so many more of us out here still carrying the shame of the abuser, and it certainly shouldn’t be that way but here we are. I’ve given up all shame for what was DONE TO me by adults when I was a child; all of it. It was the most freeing thing I’ve ever done in my life. In fact, I kind of thumb my nose at an every man who sees me online….gently. My lil icon is Gisele with “take back the shame”. I refuse to carry their disgusting behavior on my back. Man may be physically stronger, but emotionally…most men are simply scared lil children, brought up to make fun of mommy behind her back with daddy, become emotionally “men”….. anyway, I hug you, and I so hear you. We all do.