Does This Vape Make Me Less Spiritual?

While frying eggs, I heard it: that old Baptist voice whispering, “Real Christians don’t vape.” It wasn’t about health. It was about holiness.

Does This Vape Make Me Less Spiritual?

This morning, while I was standing in the kitchen frying my eggs, I caught myself ruminating about last night’s workshop. And—like clockwork—my mind wandered to the one habit I still judge myself for: vaping.

Now, let me be clear. I’ve heard all the health arguments. I know it’s not ideal. But the voice that showed up wasn’t concerned with health. It was concerned with holiness.

Yep. That old voice again. The one that sounds suspiciously like a deacon in a small-town Baptist church, whispering: “You know, Monica, real Christians don’t vape.”

And I thought—Where the hell did that come from?

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The Myth of Moral Cleanliness

Somewhere along the line, we got taught that external behaviors—dancing, drinking, smoking, even laughing too loud—meant you were less spiritual. That the way to keep your soul clean was to keep your body in line.

But here’s the kicker: That teaching wasn’t really about your soul. It was about control.

It started with a kind of primitive intention: keep people from sliding into chaos. But it mutated into this full-blown religion of repression—where the ultimate sin wasn’t losing your way, it was feeling good while doing it.

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But I Don’t Buy It Anymore

Because I don’t believe that a vape—any more than a glass of wine or a Marvin Gaye slow dance—is what separates us from the divine.

You know what really creates distance?

Shame. Hiding. Pretending you’re holier than you are. Performing purity instead of practicing presence.

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The Church Ladies

I learned this early. I was once judged harshly for wearing a halter top to choir practice. Sans a bra.

The looks. The whispers. The thinly veiled concern.

And during my years as a preacher’s wife? Oh, I could hear the little tittle-tattles being whispered about me and my two girls. We never quite made the cut in front of those busybody church ladies.

And honestly? That always made me more outlandish in my speech and manner.

Because when someone DID speak to me—usually dripping with passive-aggressive “concern”—I would catch them out with a generous, sweet Southern belle tone:

“Oh, it’s okay. I know you know that Jesus loves me, so I am not worried. And neither should you be.”

That was my go-to all those years.

Because here’s what I knew even then: their judgment had nothing to do with my soul. It had everything to do with their need to police what they couldn’t control.

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The Only Interference

I’m going to say something that would’ve gotten me banned from the Sunday school room I grew up in:

The only thing that can interfere with your relationship with your soul is what you say will interfere.

Let that land.

Not the vape. Not the wine. Not the nap you took instead of meditating. Not the cussing. (I mean, you’ve met me, right?) Not the halter top or the laughter or the fact that you don’t fit their definition of “holy.”

None of it has the power to separate you from your soul—unless you hand it that power.

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So No, Vaping Doesn’t Disconnect Me From My Soul

It might mess with a deep breath now and then. But it doesn’t mess with my truth. Or my art. Or my capacity to sit in silence and feel the presence that surrounds me.

My soul isn’t fragile. And yours isn’t either.

Your soul doesn’t care if you vape, drink wine, skip church, cuss like a sailor, or show up to choir practice in a halter top.

Your soul cares if you’re PRESENT. If you’re HONEST. If you’re showing up as YOURSELF instead of performing someone else’s version of holy.

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If You’re Still Holding Onto Some Old Shame...

Here’s my question for you:

What’s the thing you still judge yourself for—because someone once told you it made you “less spiritual”?

Is it the wine? The clutter? The fact that you left your church ten years ago and never looked back? The way you dress? The music you listen to? The fact that you don’t meditate every morning or journal or do yoga or whatever the fuck the spiritual police say you’re supposed to do?

If you’ve still got that voice in your head—the one that sounds like a church lady or a yoga teacher or a wellness influencer or whoever told you that YOU weren’t doing spirituality “right”—I get it.

But you don’t have to listen to it anymore.

You get to choose your sacred. You get to define your divine.

And for the record? You’re still holy. Even if you vape.

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xo,
Monica

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If You’re Done Performing “Holy” and Ready to Reclaim YOUR Power

This essay is about stopping the performance. About choosing your own sacred. About finally trusting that you’re enough—vape, wine, halter top, and all.

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You’re not stuck. You’re saturated.

You’ve been gathering wisdom for decades. Now it’s time to use it differently.

Heart it if you’ve been judged for something that has nothing to do with your soul. Comment with one “unholy” thing you’re done feeling guilty about. Join the chat, let’s be there for one another as we travel this wild journey together.