I Broke My Own Momentum on Purpose
Read why the pause is actually the work
I’m Not Writing Part Four Today
I’m not publishing the fourth part of the Soul Declutter series today.
And that’s intentional.
Recently in my Wednesday gathering with the Island of Misfits, someone asked me a question:
“How do you manage to think about, write, and publish a different post every single day?”
The honest answer surprised even me.
I observe myself.
All day long.
I can do that because I don’t have anyone else structurally depending on me anymore. I don’t wake up thinking about what my children need. Or what a husband needs. Or what a boss expects.
That layer of mental obligation is gone.
Which frees up something enormous.
It frees up attention.
And attention is creative currency.
Yesterday , I noticed something.
There is a collapse that happens after I finish a painting.
When I’m coming down the home stretch of a canvas, my energy tightens. Everything pulls inward. I am holding the whole composition together in my body. Every detail has to land just right. My nervous system is engaged, alert, precise.
And then it’s done.
The painting is drying.
The tension releases.
And yesterday was the day the collapse came.
Not dramatic. Not emotional. Just a drop.
A full-body exhale that says: Okay. We’re done now. Rest.
The old Monica would have fought it.
She would have pushed through. Answered every comment. Forced another post. Proved momentum. Checked the goddamn box.
The new Monica knew better.
I shut the office down. Walked away from the desk. Got on the daybed. Turned on the television. And zoned out for hours.
No productivity. No checklist. No gold star.
Just integration. Intergration of my nervous system with my soul, mind and body.
And now I can feel something beginning to renew. Not fully. Not creatively sharp yet. But stirring.
So Part Four will wait.
Because here’s what I want you to learn to recognize in yourself:
When your body says, “I need to catch up,” honor it.
Finishing something big requires recovery.
Creative output requires integration.
Expansion requires rest.
If you don’t allow the collapse, you will manufacture sabotage.
You’ll pick fights. Start scrolling. Eat emotionally. Create drama. Or turn against yourself for not being “productive enough.”
All of it—every single self-sabotaging behavior—is just your nervous system screaming: WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME REST?
Sometimes the most powerful thing you accomplish in a day is not fighting your own nervous system.
That’s it. That’s the whole flex.
Not the post you published. Not the inbox you cleared. Not the extra mile you ran because discipline is supposed to mean something.
Just: I felt the collapse coming. And I let it happen.
Revolutionary.
After we complete the Soul Declutter series, we’re going deeper into coherence.
Because this—honoring the natural rise and fall of your energy—is coherence in practice.
Not theory. Not aesthetics. Not branding.
Embodiment.
It is okay to pause.
It is okay to integrate.
It is okay not to check a box.
The work will still be here tomorrow.
And so will you.
Rested. Renewed. Ready.
Or not ready. And that’s fine too.
Because here’s the secret nobody tells you about sustainable creativity:
The pause is part of the process.
Not a break from the work. Not a failure of discipline.
The work itself.
So no, I’m not writing Part Four today.
I’m doing something far more important.
I’m teaching you—and reminding myself—that rest is not the opposite of productivity.
Rest is what makes productivity possible.
And if you can’t honor that in your own body, you’ll spend the rest of your life grinding yourself into dust and wondering why nothing ever feels good enough.
Part Four will come.
When my nervous system is ready.
When the stirring becomes a pull.
When the collapse completes and the next wave begins.
Until then?
I’m on the daybed.
Zoning out.
Integrating.
And feeling zero guilt about it.
You should try it sometime.
Monica Rose, learning to observe ourselves is the key component of every spiritual practice. You are demonstrating just how powerful it is observe our own patterns, to witness our own needs, and to apply the love and compassion of our hearts to our own becoming. You are demonstrating how important it is to include integration in the process of becoming. You are showing the necessity for the ground to remain fellow for a bit before planting new seeds. This is why your channel is so valuable. Thank you for helping so many to accept and support their own process without guilty judgment. Bless you, my dear.
Thank you! I have so much trouble resting before the point of depletion.
Someone once told me that waiting can be very powerful.
I will do things differently today because of you. Thank you, again!