Thank you Sasha Kerry Smith, Susan Kamm-Huey, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.
I Learned Everything I Needed to Know at 15… Standing on a Diving Board
I was 15 years old.
4’11”. Maybe 90 pounds soaking wet.
And I became obsessed with perfecting a jackknife dive.
No coach.
No applause.
Nobody watching.
Just me… climbing that board over and over again.
Climb.
Dive.
Climb again.
Repeat.
All summer long.
Why?
Because I saw something in my mind… something clean, something beautiful… and I wanted to become it.
Not try it.
Not dabble in it.
Become it.
There’s a moment in a jackknife dive where everything has to line up.
You hit the board just right.
You time the fold.
Your body snaps clean in half midair…
and then you slice into the water like you were meant to be there.
No splash.
No hesitation.
Just… clean.
And when you get it right?
You feel it in your whole body.
Even if no one else sees it.
That’s the part that matters.
Nobody validated it.
Nobody clapped.
Nobody even noticed.
But it still changed me.
I didn’t know it then… but I was training myself.
Repetition without proof.
Trusting something before I could fully do it.
Showing up again and again for something only I could see.
Fast forward to now.
I woke up this morning with zero creative energy.
Nothing.
And the old version of me would’ve immediately tried to fix that.
Push.
Force.
Make something happen.
“Don’t waste the day.”
But something in me said:
Nope.
We’re doing this differently.
So I didn’t start with writing.
I didn’t start with creating.
I started with… life.
Folding clothes.
Sweeping the floor.
Moving slowly.
Maybe even getting dressed first.
Letting my body lead… instead of my agenda.
And here’s what hit me.
This didn’t just randomly happen.
I set this in motion.
All the breathwork.
All the listening.
All the moments where I chose to pause instead of push.
Something shifted.
My system is reorganizing how I live.
And I’ll be honest… there’s tension here.
Because creativity used to come first.
That was my identity.
Wake up → create → produce → go.
And now?
It’s not there in the same way.
That could feel like loss.
But I’m not treating it like loss.
What if this isn’t me losing my creativity?
What if this is a new sequence?
What if my energy wants to come online differently now?
Because here’s the parallel I can’t ignore:
At 15…
I was diving into water I could see.
At 70…
I’m diving into a day I can’t predict.
And the decision is the same.
I’m not fighting it.
I’m not forcing it.
I’m experimenting with it.
I’m watching what happens.
So today?
I’ll be my own test subject.
Just like I was at 15.
Climb the board…
and dive anyway.
