Monica Moments

Have We Forgotten How to Anticipate?

Twenty years ago, I found myself in the middle of helping a group of young people start a new Mardi Gras krewe in Louisiana.

As we worked through the bylaws, someone raised a question about the annual Mardi Gras ball. Did we really need a dress code? The younger members weren’t interested in gowns and tuxedos. They thought it was unnecessary fuss. Why not just show up comfortable and enjoy the evening?

I remember saying something that surprised them.

The preparation is part of the event. The anticipation is part of the event. The shopping for the dress. The trip to the tuxedo shop. Wondering who you’ll see. Looking forward to the evening. Imagining how it will all come together.

The event begins long before the event.

Without anticipation, it’s just another thing you do.

That memory came back to me this week because I realized something. I think many of us have forgotten how to anticipate.

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For most of my life, anticipation arrived automatically. There were holidays to prepare for. Vacations to plan. Family gatherings. Birthdays. Anniversaries. The calendar supplied the anticipation.

Now the calendar is quieter.

And I wonder if part of what some people experience as boredom or flatness isn’t the absence of activity. Maybe it’s the absence of anticipation.

The truth is, I have things I look forward to now. They’re just smaller.

This afternoon I’m looking forward to a hot soak in my new bathtub. I’ve spent part of the morning thinking about it already — what music I’ll play, whether I’ll turn the lights down low, how good it’s going to feel to stretch my legs and relax. The anticipation has already started.

I’m also looking forward to exploring the possibility of buying a three-wheel bicycle. Just the idea of it makes me smile.

None of these would make anyone else’s highlight reel. But they make me smile. And I’ve discovered that’s enough.

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Anticipation has a close cousin. Celebration.

A friend recently posted photographs from a family gathering celebrating her son’s engagement. The room was filled with people. Smiles. Excitement. Champagne glasses raised in honor of a new beginning.

I found myself thinking something unexpected. I can’t remember the last time I attended a celebration like that.

Maybe you can’t either.

At this stage of life, many of the big celebrations belong to younger generations. We’re no longer the bride. We’re no longer the graduate. We’re no longer the newlyweds. The celebration still happens — it’s just not centered around us.

And that’s worth sitting with for a moment. Not with grief. With honesty.

Because what if we’ve been waiting for other people to provide the celebration? What if celebration doesn’t have to arrive in the form of a party?

What if celebration can be as simple as acknowledging yourself?

I did that. I organized the files. I took the walk. I finished the painting. I got through a difficult day.

I did that.

Somewhere along the way many of us were taught that giving ourselves credit was selfish. I no longer believe that. I think it’s honest.

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Anticipation is looking forward. Celebration is looking back. One says: I can’t wait. The other says: I did it.

Together they create something that makes life feel richer, regardless of what’s on the calendar.

What are you looking forward to right now — even something small?

Because maybe the secret isn’t waiting for a bigger life. Maybe it’s learning to anticipate and celebrate the one we already have.

If you recognized yourself in the quieter calendar, the smaller anticipations, the celebrations that no longer center around you — I’d love for you to bring it to Tuesday.

The Breakthrough Circle gathers every week on Zoom. It’s where women come to anticipate what’s next and celebrate what they’ve already done — without waiting for anyone else to throw the party.

For a limited time I’m offering 20% off an annual membership. Not because you need a discount to deserve the room. Because I want the women who need this conversation to be able to have it.

And as a paid member you’ll also receive something new this week — short video messages of inspiration sprinkled through your week. Not scripted. Not polished. Just me, a breadcrumb I noticed, and the thought it sparked.

Come as you are. The door is open.

Join The Breakthrough Circle — 20% off annual membership