I once sat on my mother’s grave with a thermos of coffee and a pack of cigarettes.
I wasn’t mourning.
I was furious.
Because at 34 years old, I realized I didn’t know how to make a single decision without wondering what my mother would think. And since she was gone, I didn’t know who to ask anymore.
So I did what any self-respecting, directionless daughter would do.
I took my coffee, my smokes, and my questions straight to her headstone and said, “Alright. Who’s going to tell me what to do now?”
That’s where this story begins — not in grief, but in awakening.
It was the moment I realized that trust isn’t something another person hands you; it’s something you grow inside your own damn bones.
The videoabove tells the rest — the day I learned how to stop letting my mother’s voice (or anyone else’s) override my own.
If you’ve ever built your life around someone else’s expectations — a parent, a partner, a boss — this one’s for you.
Because one day you have to sit down, light the metaphorical cigarette, and say, “I’ll take it from here.
