Stop Telling Me How to Feel
I said I’m tired. I don’t need your correction. I need your respect.
There’s a certain kind of man who thinks he’s helping.
Who slides into your inbox, your comments, your marriage—
and offers “insight” about how you should feel.
You say you’re tired. He says, “That’s the wrong approach.”
As if fatigue is a mindset problem.
As if weariness is weakness.
As if he gets to decide what’s appropriate for your heart, your body, your spirit.
Let me be very clear:
I didn’t ask for a diagnosis.
I didn’t request a motivational speech.
I didn’t post a poll.
I named a feeling. I said I was tired.
Because I am tired.
Not just physically, but soul-tired—from decades of carrying weight I never asked for.
From the constant pressure to explain or justify my emotions to people who weren’t listening in the first place.
This kind of man—whether he’s a stranger, a partner, or someone who once loved you—hasn’t yet realized that you don’t need to be corrected. You need to be heard.
And that’s the piece that hits hardest:
In my first marriage, I wasn’t allowed to feel without permission.
Sadness made him uncomfortable.
Anger made me “irrational.”
Exhaustion made me “negative.”
So I learned to shrink my feelings to keep the peace.
To second-guess myself.
To question my own emotional reality.
Until I didn’t know what I felt anymore—just what I was allowed to feel.
But not anymore.
I am not available for emotional micromanagement.
I am not a blank canvas for someone else’s narrative.
And I will never again ask permission to be human.
So if a woman tells you she’s tired, believe her.
If she says she’s sad, let her be sad.
If she names her truth, don’t offer correction—offer presence.
And if that feels hard for you, sit with that.
Because we’ve spent lifetimes sitting in silence to accommodate you.
If my words have helped you exhale lately, here’s a way to support the porch: Buy Me A Coffee




Monica, very much feel this! I can feel what I feel and will no longer walk on eggshells for anyone!
and to stop questioning what you say after you say it, wondering whether the other person took it in the spirit in which it was given.