I wish I could pick a quote to put here, to signify the highlight that spoke to my soul, but I’d just be copy and pasting the whole post. Wow! Thank you for sharing. Reading more people talk about their experience with shame, no matter the factors that caused it, have really helped me feel less isolated in unpacking my own. It’s a brutal journey, but it gives me hope along the way. This was so beautifully and prophetically written!
That feeling of “I’d have to copy the whole thing” means the world to me. Truly.
You’re right—it is brutal work, this unpacking. But when we name it out loud, when we see ourselves in each other’s stories, it softens the edges. It reminds us we’re not broken… just human.
I’m honored my words met you where you are. That’s all I ever hope for.
This is beautifully written and so vulnerable and spot on accurate on the difference between shame and guilt. Our shame keeps us captive until we release its hold. Thank you for sharing this important piece of writing and of your journey.
Monica, Thank You! Shame has been pushed so far down and out of awareness, that I've had a hard time understanding how it works and how it has driven so much of my life. If I don't have to 'fix myself' (yes, I've tried about everything!), then freedom is here already. Best!🙏❤️🌸🤗
Oh yes—this. That’s exactly what I discovered too: shame hides in plain sight, shaping everything while convincing us it’s just “who we are.”
And that line you picked up on—“If I don’t have to fix myself, then freedom is already here”—that’s the shift. That’s the crack where the light comes in.
Thank you for receiving this so openly. We don’t have to keep fixing what was never broken. We just have to start seeing ourselves with love.
I'm so sorry you've carried shame for so long Monica, but I know that too.
I've been noticing I carry fear and maybe shame in my gut somehow...it goes like this.. I feel a pain in my gut, I feel fear/panic and the need to run/hide + I feel faint.
It's happened quite a few times before and often if I'm in a cafe. It happened today in a cafe having breakfast; I started feeling faint, hot, panicky, looking for a way out, but I stayed and didn't run.
I told myself that I was safe in my body, didn't criticise myself and it passed. I've no idea why this happens, but I felt very tearful.
My body stores the memories of something that I can't name, but being there for myself and not going into flight mode allowed me a different outcome.
I'm grateful for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your experiences and I hope sharing mine helps others too ❤️ Karen
That moment you described in the café… I felt it in my own body as I read. That mix of panic, heat, and needing to escape? I know that too. And the ache of not knowing exactly why—only that something deep is being stirred.
But what you did? Staying. Speaking to yourself with tenderness. Choosing presence over panic…
That’s everything. That’s how the old story starts to lose its grip.
Our bodies remember, even when we can’t name the memory.
And every time we respond with care instead of criticism, we rewrite a little of the script.
You are so brave. And yes—your story absolutely helps others.
It’s heartbreaking how often our deepest shame begins with betrayal by someone who should have protected us. Thank you for sharing this—it takes courage to say it out loud. I hope you know you’re not alone anymore. We’re not carrying it in silence anymore.
I so needed to hear this today. It’s a sad day for me and this helps me to stand up for myself. Thank you Monica dhidhi, can I call you that? You’re a true sister!
“Something in you disqualifies you.” And I believed it. I swallowed it. I wore it like an invisible uniform." Monica, your words are medicine.
And I spent so long trying to figure out how to "fix" myself. You're so right though. The act of naming the shame and giving room for our true selves to speak is in and of itself, healing. I love hearing your reclamation journey. Thank you for your healing words!
I wish I could pick a quote to put here, to signify the highlight that spoke to my soul, but I’d just be copy and pasting the whole post. Wow! Thank you for sharing. Reading more people talk about their experience with shame, no matter the factors that caused it, have really helped me feel less isolated in unpacking my own. It’s a brutal journey, but it gives me hope along the way. This was so beautifully and prophetically written!
Oh wow—thank you so much for this.
That feeling of “I’d have to copy the whole thing” means the world to me. Truly.
You’re right—it is brutal work, this unpacking. But when we name it out loud, when we see ourselves in each other’s stories, it softens the edges. It reminds us we’re not broken… just human.
I’m honored my words met you where you are. That’s all I ever hope for.
We’re walking this path together now.
This is beautifully written and so vulnerable and spot on accurate on the difference between shame and guilt. Our shame keeps us captive until we release its hold. Thank you for sharing this important piece of writing and of your journey.
Thank you so much for these kind and thoughtful words.
Yes—shame truly is a captor, and most of us don’t even realize we’re locked in.
But once we name it, once we see it for what it is, something begins to shift.
I’m so grateful this piece resonated with you.
Here’s to more of us walking free.
Monica, Thank You! Shame has been pushed so far down and out of awareness, that I've had a hard time understanding how it works and how it has driven so much of my life. If I don't have to 'fix myself' (yes, I've tried about everything!), then freedom is here already. Best!🙏❤️🌸🤗
Oh yes—this. That’s exactly what I discovered too: shame hides in plain sight, shaping everything while convincing us it’s just “who we are.”
And that line you picked up on—“If I don’t have to fix myself, then freedom is already here”—that’s the shift. That’s the crack where the light comes in.
Thank you for receiving this so openly. We don’t have to keep fixing what was never broken. We just have to start seeing ourselves with love.
I'm so sorry you've carried shame for so long Monica, but I know that too.
I've been noticing I carry fear and maybe shame in my gut somehow...it goes like this.. I feel a pain in my gut, I feel fear/panic and the need to run/hide + I feel faint.
It's happened quite a few times before and often if I'm in a cafe. It happened today in a cafe having breakfast; I started feeling faint, hot, panicky, looking for a way out, but I stayed and didn't run.
I told myself that I was safe in my body, didn't criticise myself and it passed. I've no idea why this happens, but I felt very tearful.
My body stores the memories of something that I can't name, but being there for myself and not going into flight mode allowed me a different outcome.
I'm grateful for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your experiences and I hope sharing mine helps others too ❤️ Karen
Thank you so much for sharing this—truly.
That moment you described in the café… I felt it in my own body as I read. That mix of panic, heat, and needing to escape? I know that too. And the ache of not knowing exactly why—only that something deep is being stirred.
But what you did? Staying. Speaking to yourself with tenderness. Choosing presence over panic…
That’s everything. That’s how the old story starts to lose its grip.
Our bodies remember, even when we can’t name the memory.
And every time we respond with care instead of criticism, we rewrite a little of the script.
You are so brave. And yes—your story absolutely helps others.
It helped me today.
We’re all walking each other home-- to ourselves.
I know this shame very well Monica. My shame was also caused by an adult family member.
❤️🩹
It’s heartbreaking how often our deepest shame begins with betrayal by someone who should have protected us. Thank you for sharing this—it takes courage to say it out loud. I hope you know you’re not alone anymore. We’re not carrying it in silence anymore.
I so needed to hear this today. It’s a sad day for me and this helps me to stand up for myself. Thank you Monica dhidhi, can I call you that? You’re a true sister!
I am honored !
Thank you dhidhi ! 💕
I needed this!!!! It resignations in a very deep way.
I’m so glad it found you.
That deep resonance you’re feeling? That’s not coincidence—it’s truth rising to meet truth.
You’re not alone in this. And you never were. 💛
Thank you for reading with your whole heart.
Wow! Thank you! 🙏
Thank YOU for taking time to read my essay. Hug n stuff!
“Something in you disqualifies you.” And I believed it. I swallowed it. I wore it like an invisible uniform." Monica, your words are medicine.
And I spent so long trying to figure out how to "fix" myself. You're so right though. The act of naming the shame and giving room for our true selves to speak is in and of itself, healing. I love hearing your reclamation journey. Thank you for your healing words!
Oh friend, thank you.
That line—“something in you disqualifies you”—ran like a quiet undercurrent through so much of my life.
And like you, I tried so hard to fix what was never broken… just buried under shame.
But naming it? Giving voice to the parts we were taught to hide?
That is the healing. Not a performance. Not a makeover.
Just truth, finally spoken.
I’m so grateful this landed with you. We’re not alone in this reclamation. Not anymore.