While He Disengaged, Women Over 60 Lit the Damn Fire
He called me argumentative and ran. Ten women subscribed. This is what happens when you stop shrinking.
Yesterday, while I was deep in the sacred throws of this work—
answering heartfelt comments, shaping the truth of my soul, tending to the fire that’s caught here on Substack—a man popped into my comments.
Not a supporter.
Not a curious reader.
A corrector.
A classic mansplainer with a smiley face. You know the type.
He came not to understand, but to adjust.
To fix me.
To wrap his discomfort in spiritual platitudes. Gratitude. Abundance. Semantics.
But the tone?
Sharp. Condescending.
That quiet little sermon that says:
Simmer down. Smile more. Stop keeping score. Be a good girl.
He told me to stop “playing semantics.”
He told me to “live in abundance.”
He told me to “make the world a better place.”
What he meant was:
Be softer. Be smaller. Be nicer. Be quieter.
But when I didn’t fold under his patronizing performance—when I didn’t adjust myself to soothe his edges?
He flinched.
And then he ran.
His exact words?
"Perception is reality, and you, dear Monica, love to argue. I am disengaging."
But here’s what he didn’t know—
what he couldn’t possibly have imagined:
While he was typing that tidy little exit, ten women subscribed.
Ten women—most of them over 60—read the same energy and didn’t look away.
They said yes.
They came closer.
They felt the truth and chose it.
Because here’s the thing:
We’ve all been in that room.
The one where a man takes offense to your fire—and makes it your fault.
Where being clear, grounded, and outspoken gets you labeled "argumentative."
Where you’re suddenly too much.
Too direct.
Too emotional.
Too proud.
Too loud.
And for far too long, we let that mean something.
We shrunk.
We softened.
We apologized.
We dimmed the light so someone else could stay comfortable.
But not anymore.
Now?
We let them walk.
And we keep the fire lit.
Because if you’ve made it to this stage of life and you’re still being told to shrink…
You’re doing something right.
So this post is for you:
If you’ve ever been told to tone it down.
If someone ever mistook your clarity for combat.
If you've been called intimidating when all you were doing was telling the truth.
You are not too much.
You are simply too awake to pretend anymore.
So keep writing.
Keep painting.
Keep speaking.
Keep exploring, get curious.Ask questions. Lean into what sparks your mind!
If this lit a fire in your belly... follow it.
Get curious. Ask the hard questions.
Lean into what’s tugging at your soul.
COMING THIS WEEK:
I’m writing something brand new—something I believe many of you have been waiting for without even realizing it. It’s called RE-FOUNDATION: Rebuilding a Life That Can Hold You Now.
It’s a guidebook for any woman who’s waking up and realizing:
This life I built was based on who I had to be—not who I truly am.
Inside, we’ll take stock of what you’ve learned, what still brings meaning, and what old dreams are whispering to be remembered. Together, we’ll create a new foundation—not patched up or repurposed, but rebuilt from truth, clarity, and self-trust.
More soon. But I wanted you to know—it’s coming. And it’s going to be powerful.
I have been told I am too direct, too loud, too intense by many people over the years - and often from women - female teachers, female colleagues, females in social situations. I've been lucky in my life to have had incredibly supportive men as well as women. I think this judgment can come from either sex - from people who choose to tell others how to behave and feel threatened by confidence.
Getting out now, for all of the reasons you listed and more....@ 57 years old!