Gratitude Feels Like Work. Joy Feels Like Breathing."
Gratitude lists always felt like work to me—something I had to earn or prove. So I stopped. And I started tracking joy instead. One word at a time. Here's how it works.
Why I Stopped Writing Gratitudes
(and What I Do Instead)
The Joy Ledger is not about thankfulness. It’s about aliveness.
This is a Survival Series tool, but it belongs here in the Rewire because the moment you start tracking joy, you’re not just surviving—you’re changing your brain, your day, and your life.
Two years ago, I filmed a short video—nothing fancy, just me, dressed for the day, Pablo climbing in my lap, and a story I needed to tell.
It was about a vendor who called too early, pushed too hard, and didn’t know a thing about me. I got mad. Really mad. Not just because of the sales pitch, but because they saw me as a transaction, not a person.
But what happened next—that’s what matters.
I made what I now call a hard pivot.
I cut them off. Canceled the service.
Then I pivoted myself. Away from the anger. Back to my own day. To painting. To breath. To peace.
✨ Watch that short video here
What I didn’t know then—but I see clearly now—is that I wasn’t just shifting my mood.
I was doing what I now call Joy Tracking.
And that day became one of the first entries in what would later become my Joy Ledger.
💡 Gratitude Feels Heavy. Joy Feels Like Breathing.
I want to be honest: I’ve never fully resonated with gratitude lists.
They’ve always felt like work. Like something I had to earn, or prove, or polish into a paragraph.
And I know I’m not alone.
Just yesterday, I ran a poll asking how people relate to gratitude. Here’s what they said:
71% said “I TRY to be grateful.”
20% said “Well… that’s what they say to do.”
8% admitted “Gratitude doesn’t come easy for me.”
That’s not laziness. That’s not entitlement.
That’s fatigue from being told to be thankful when your body’s just trying to get through the day.
So I stopped writing gratitudes.
And I started tracking joy.
✍️ How the Joy Ledger Works
It’s simple. But it’s powerful.
Here’s the core principle:
When something brings a glimmer of joy—however small—you don’t describe the moment. You describe the feeling.
Don’t write:
“I saw a yellow dandelion pushing through the sidewalk cracks.”
Write:
Bright.
Sweet.
Soft.
Unexpected.
No sentence structure. No grammar rules.
Just a word. One feeling. Per line.
Why This Practice Actually Works
Joy tracking isn’t fluff. It’s not a mood booster or a journal prompt.
It’s a pattern interrupt.
And when you pair it with the 4-4-6 breathing practice I talk about often, you begin to rewire your inner state—not just mentally, but physiologically.
These two together—breath + joy—break the survival loop. They quiet the internal alarm bell. They create space.
And the more space you create, the more access your soul has to slip in with thoughts that help rather than hijack.
What you’re doing is building heart-mind coherence—the state where your emotions and thoughts sync up instead of fighting each other.
Here’s how:
Every time you notice a moment of joy and name the feeling...
Every time you breathe in for four, hold for four, release for six...
You’re telling your nervous system: I’m safe enough to soften.
And when the body softens, the soul can speak.Do it for a day, and you’ll feel lighter.
Do it for a week, and you’ll realize your life has been offering joy this whole time—you just weren’t taught to name it.
That’s what the Joy Ledger helps you see.
🎁 A Gift for Paid Subscribers
If you’re already a paid subscriber, check your inbox later today for an email titled:
“Your Joy Ledger is Ready”
No strings. No cost. Just a soul tool for starting the year in alignment with your inner aliveness.
Not yet a paid subscriber but want to try the practice?
You can download the Joy Ledger PDF for just $1.11 here:
👉 [https://monirose.gumroad.com/l/joyledger]
(And yes, you’re always welcome to upgrade to paid at any time and receive more gifts like this throughout the year.)
Let this be the year you stop pushing for polished gratitude and start noticing joy.
Bonus check-in: Want to see which emotional pattern might be keeping you stuck?
Take today’s Soul Poll: 💔 Emotional Traps
(We’re exploring how emotions like guilt, shame, overwhelm, or obligation sneak in and shape our days.)
Who Said Change Had to Be Full Price?
For the next 6 days, I’m offering 25% off to anyone ready to stop drifting and start rewiring.
Whether you’re in the fog of “what now?”
Or standing at the edge of “is this all there is?”
This is your sign.
And if you’ve got a girlfriend, a sister, a mother, an aunt, a neighbor—or anyone, regardless of gender—who’s ready to break out of the outdated script of retirement and step into something deeper…
Forward this to them.
We’re reimagining what the last stage of life can look like.
We’re reigniting the fire.
We’re reinventing what it means to grow older.
No more sidelines. No more sleepwalking.
Just soul, spark, and a path forward.Heart it if it hit. Share it if someone you know needs this today
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Hi from South Africa!
Last year, when I was going blind while waiting for cataract surgery, I received much kindness and support from friends and strangers alike. While this was going on, I didn’t need to formulate a gratitude list to remind myself to be thankful for the kindness shown to me. The feeling of gratitude and appreciation just bubbled out of me without any effort on my part.
Even now, two months after the surgery (which was sponsored by local Rotarians), I wake up bubbling with joy and gratitude every morning when I open my eyes and I can SEE clearly.
So perhaps in the end the spontaneous feeling of gratitude is much like the feeling of joy…
Feeling grateful has always had this undertow of lack for me. As if I've had to level up in some kind of way to get it, or should be grateful to have an opportunity to be grateful at all, or I don't really deserve it but still need to be grateful. This definitely is a personal subconscious limiting belief raising its head. But even with that awareness it still feels like something obligatory or another thing I should be doing. Having said that, yes! There are moments when true feelings of goodness, a recognition of how in sync and glorious and how happy I am to be here in the mix flows forth! I would describe these as you have ... joy. The other thing I've learned (this will sound contradictory) is that for the hard stuff, the stuff that I'd not feel grateful for typically, i acknowledge by pausing and saying "what a gift." I learned this from David Ghiyam. This has changed everything for me. Because it recognizes that there's much that helps us to expand which comes in the hard things. It's a way to take the power away from down spiraling reactions in the moment but also is recognition of the greater scheme or purpose of all things. That was a lot! Thank you for the concept of writing descriptors of feelings or sensations. It's brilliant.